I awoke this morning feeling really cheerful and this is a sign that my depression is finally easing. I know things are going badly when I wake up and don’t want to get out of bed and that once it gets dark, I feel as if I have never been depressed. This is a serious warning sign that I know well, but when the reverse is true, good things are on the horizon. I woke up at 3:30 AM and felt really cheerful, so much so that I had difficulty falling back to sleep. I finally fell back to sleep at 4:30 only to wake up to my alarm at 5:50.
Wow! I got out of bed and doing my adult daily living chores like showering, shaving, and brushing my teeth was easy. When I am in the midst of a major depressive cycle, I do not want to do any of these things, much less even remember to do them in the first place. This morning I did not even need an alarm to remind me to do any of them and I managed to make my bed. When in recovery from mental illness they tell you to celebrate the small stuff so that is what I do.
Sometimes I wake up in the morning with an earworm, a song that is just caught in my head. I have to laugh because I have an old Cheap Trick song in my head, Mighty Wings. I don’t know where this comes from so I have to laugh at my brain because I love my 80s music but this came out of left field.
I am looking forward to being done with this partial hospitalization program. I think I have gotten all that I am going to get out of it for the moment and it is time to honor the commitments that I made to myself. The beginnings of my health routine have been created and now it is time to keep up with them. On days when I do not have errands to run or doctors appointments, it is imperative that I do something for my mind and that will be learning. I will find subjects to learn about and I will also read.