After yesterday’s very triggering day which was no doubt aided by the fact that I was taking the wrong medication and none the wiser, I have decided that I need to do a self check-in write-up. This is one of the coping skills that Ms. Tangie from the partial hospitalization program highly recommended so her little voice says, “It’s that time of the morning. Time to check-in.” Last night I had a wonderful night’s sleep with a solid 6 hours and I only woke up once. Unlike yesterday when I was a 3/10, today I am about a 9/10.
This morning I am far more motivated to continue working on bettering myself than I was yesterday. I want to find positive things to do that bring and keep my mood up. At least some of this is attributable to better sleep and again having the antidepressant in my system. I might have finally kicked my body’s addiction to Ambien and I am even more leery of benzodiazapines now than I ever was.
My one goal for today is to continue working on a character sketch of my story’s protagonist, Dr. Nigel Braddock, PhD. I am trying to get to know him in the way that I would know a friend in real life. I am trying to make him as real to me as I can. I have oft heard that successful creative writers have made their characters so real that when they have finished the story, they end up missing the character(s) of their creation.
This morning my higher powers are my task list and my coping toolbox, for without them, my life would truly be unmanageable. A wish I have for the New Year is to be better organized but one thing at time in recovery. Trying to do too much at once is often a recipe for disaster.