At the risk of stating the obvious, being an adult is really hard and it is especially so for somebody like me that has a diagnosed mental illness. Yesterday was not a bad day exactly but there was some disappointment because I got some bad information that lead me to believe I could go for a master’s degree and have the Division of Vocational Rehabilitation pay for it. I really want to become a social worker, and in order to do so, I effectively must have a master’s degree in social work. Okay, well in the words of the best mental health educators, let’s move forward. One of the other educators in the program that I am in gave me a book about becoming a drug and alcohol councilor.
I spoke with my assigned DVR councilor about working as a councilor to work with drug and alcohol addicts. She said that there are funds available for training to obtain the certification and eventually get licensure with the State of Delaware. That is actually okay news because working in drug and alcohol counciling was the backup plan. While doing this, I will just work part time in some easy, slow stress job.
This morning getting out of bed was hard and I really did not want to do it. Every part of my body simply wanted to give in to the depression and I barely had any fight in me but I used what little fight I did have to get going, take a shower, brush my teeth, and take my medicine. In truth, I do not even want to go to the program today but I made a commitment to myself to go so I will.
I hope that the program goes over some new information because it is starting to feel repetitive. That may be one reason why I do not want to go. I am also weary of the daily commute in a minivan with people that just yammer on and will not be quite. I do not feel like talking in the morning and I want to decompress after the intensive partial hospitalization program that explores a lot of difficult emotions and states of being.
This afternoon I will pick up where I left off on my brother’s website even if all I feel like doing is sitting on the couch, watching TV, and surfing random websites or using Twitter. My brother is struggling to find business and this is one way I can help him market and thank him for all the help that he has given me over the past few years. If I can save him money and help him out, then that is good.