On base I am glad to be back at the partial hospitalization program at MeadowWood Behavioral Health Hospital. It was difficult to go back so soon after successfully completing the program back in January but I had a mental health relapse. Every morning before group begins, we all have a checkin which basically we talk about our diagnosis and how the previous night was. I had my moment of fragility, broke down, and could feel tears well up in my eyes. I was kind of afraid that this would happen but all of us are at this program because of our mental illness and the demons that we are fighting: It is a safe, judgement free zone for a show of emotion.
Just after checking in, I realized that I need to do something different than what I did in my prior participation in the program. I need to ask for help with employment resources and for help with job maintenance. At this point I might even face challenges getting employment because I have been unemployed so long and have a significant gap in my resume. Perhaps the people at the PHP program will have resources in this area for me to utilize but I have to make certain and ask for those resources.
I also was reminded of the absolute importance of sleep, hydration, and positive thought reinforcement. I want to take a nap right now because I barely had any sleep last night but it is late in the day and a nap may make sleep much more difficult this evening. So I will force myself to stay awake until maybe 9:00 and I know I can manage 5 more hours. I did meet my goal this morning to get acclimated to the program and I tried my best to participate, knowing that getting over mental health relapse is a participation sport.