This morning I’m in a personal battle of facts over feelings. I don’t feel bad per se but I find myself feeling as if I’m going back to spinning my wheels some. I’m feeling as if everything is one step forward and two steps backwards. This is somewhat frustrating so I had to break out one of the articles that Ms. Tangie was kind enough to supply.
The article I knew I needed a refresher on was facts versus feelings. I am reminded that the mental illness community cannot rely on feelings as heavily as those without. The simple facts are that in the days since I was discharged from my partial hospitalization program, I’ve gotten a lot accomplished and have been busy with planned days. This is all something praiseworthy when I could have retreated back into my own shell.
The feelings of spinning my wheels despite the factual evidence to the contrary reminds me of how I’m so hard on myself and it’s completely unnecessary. I’m reminded of Ms. Tangie saying that our community, i.e those suffering from mental illness, are much harder on ourselves and set expectations of ourselves that are unfairly harsh than those whom don’t have one. This is certainly true for myself.
Writing about it in this fashion helps me to smile and see that all I had was a feeling of spinning my wheels. And this erroneous feeling was easily be countered by simply looking at my task list and seeing what I had done. I have myself permission to have a somewhat lazy weekend.