So a friend of mine introduced me to his friend, a girl he knew in high school and is friends with on Facebook. They were never an item but friends. I’ve been talking to her now for about three weeks and she’s really growing on me. Our conversations are usually pretty deep and meaningful. The only problem is that she lives a distance away and neither of us have a car at the moment. Well today I realized that I want her and want her badly. And it’s the totality of her person that makes me feel like a damn teenager again.
Well, I think I am going to have to rent a car and drive to see her. She’s not too far away in Hanover, Pennsylvania. The drive will be worth it just to have fun and meet someone really cool who I think I have a deep connection with. I am going to do it. I’m just over the moon at the moment. I don’t really care about her physical looks. Her mind is so beautiful.
I’ve also got to start taking care of myself better. I’m neglecting myself. I could stand to eat better and treat myself better. Well, starting this very moment things are going to change. I’m going to be better to myself mentally and physically. I am going to make better choices about what I eat. I am going to shower every day and shave every day or three. I want to get better at my ADLs, the whole adult daily living scenario.
By treating myself better, I think the severity of the depression will measurably ease. Also, the aura that I will radiate will be more of desirability and less of chasing people away from me. I’ve also been single way too long. Having someone to care for and hold is something I’ve missed quite a bit. I don’t know if I am ready for a relationship but I sure as shit am going to find out one way or another. When I get paid, I am going to see her.