For a change I am feeling at baseline this morning which is pretty much what I consider to be okay. This week is going to be a very busy one compared to how things have been over the past year. On the whole, I am looking forward to having some things to do to keep me busy but I have some trepidation about starting the new gig economy job working for HopDrive. HopDrive seems to be pretty well put together but I don’t know how I will feel after my first day. I suspect I will be suitably tired but that it will all go well and be perfectly fine. The work I will be doing will be basic, easy, and I do not anticipate it to be stressful.
Yesterday I could not really think of a topic to write on and I do not have much to say today except I remain really nervous about my future because I am not a capitalist success story by any stretch. I have no retirement plan so I will probably work until I die. America really needs a social safety net and I don’t understand how we can fund the war machine, but when it comes to the suffering of everday Americans, it is too bad, so sad. My second cousin had similar mental illness symptoms to me and he had an inheritance that he could live off of. Unfortunately, he committed suicide and I wonder if this will be my fate when I turn 73.
I am more circumspect about suicide because I wonder what is so precious about life in a society that honestly treats its most vulnerable as disposable. Once we can no longer be wage slaves, what do we do? By the time I reach the age that I can collect Social Security, it probably will not be there. I believe that it is religion that teaches us that suicide is a mortal sin. I’ve often wondered why it matters and I realize that the wealthy cannot get wealthier without bodies to earn them money. If the wealthy truly believed life were precious, there would be a social safety net.
I often ponder the rising tide of homelessness among the working class and I am in awe of how people adapt and overcome and still cling to life. I would just kill myself if I found myself homeless because that is animalistic survival; in no way is that thriving. I recently joined a forum on Reddit about people that choose to live in a van called r/vanwellers. This is really a curious sub because it is about people that have built out their own vans and campers. A wise capitalist will be paying attention to this movement and finding a way to monetize it. The movement will make old, second-hand vans and campers suddenly valuable and take them out of affordability as an option for the poor. The same thing happened with the explosion of those car restoring shows. Even homelessness won’t be affordable soon.
As the days trudge on, I even see more and more of the batshit crazy politicians coming on the scene; so far out of whack that it would make the 19th century blush. The 19th century called and they want their politicians back. Sometimes I wish America would collapse completely and decend into anarchy. Then it would be possible for groups of people to retreat into what used to be national forests where you could only camp for 14 days at a time and instead carve out a communal existence of sorts. I hate America and I would gladly leave. Come on conservatives, why don’t you buy me a first class ticket out of this hellscape!? But this morning I am feeling lost in thought. When I write about suicide, I don’t mean I am about to punch my own ticket, rather I am curious about why one should be attached to life when it is hard scrabble misery.