This morning I read a tweet about people feeling pain and existential dread around the jobs that they have to go to. I have had these types of jobs so I have some understanding of what these people went through. Someone responded to the tweet that people whom don’t feel pain are privileged and I do not think that this is the case at all. It is more worrisome when people cease to feel their pain as it could mean that they are so depressed that they become almost catatonic. In a sad sort of way, when I feel pain, emotional or otherwise, I know that I am alive. When I cease to feel pain or anything at all, my mental illness has become serious.
There is nothing privileged about not feeling any pain at all and it points to the more serious, underlying problem. For some people, it could be that their personality disorder has become more serious and for others it can mean that their depression has become grave and profound. We as living things are meant to feel, it is just that with mental illness we cannot always rely on the accuracy of our feelings. Sometimes we need to look at the facts that surround our feelings and rely more heavily on those facts. Speaking for myself, I know I must rely more heavily on the facts rather than the feelings.
Feeling no pain at all is not necessarily coming from wealth or privilege and to make a blanket statement such as this is to ignore people’s individuality. When emotional pain no longer makes an impact on me, my mental health relapse is serious enough that I should probably be hospitalized. It means that I am probably very close to suicide or I have, at the very least, suicidal ideations. Thankfully I am not there now but not feeling any pain can be as bad as feeling intense pain and we cannot judge a person based on the intensity to which they feel.