This morning it was a little bit of a struggle to do the daily living chores but that is kind of the life of somebody who fights mental illness. There is no pill that completely takes away the depression and anxiety so it is up to me to manage my symptoms. This morning I actually had to force myself to get out of bed; taking my hands and lifting my legs out from under the covers, placing my feet on the floor. Then I had to tighten my abs and sit up.
Once I got out of bed, I did not feel like putting forth the effort to shower, shave, and brush my teeth so I forced myself to look at the facts: a clean human is a happier human. Thus, I went straight to my bathroom, turned the faucet on, and waited for the hot water to come out. It’s amazing how good hot water feels. After that relatively simple effort, the rest came easily. Having brushed my teeth and shaved I do feel better.
Yesterday I was a bit discouraged because I was unable to reach my vocational rehabilitation counselor. It is really important for me to get this ball rolling and I have waited now over a month for everything to get processed. I know that dealing with the government is hurry up and wait, those are the facts so I need to shrug my shoulders and change the thought channel to something else. I cannot control the speed at which government operates. All I can do is be the greasy wheel and hopefully get somebody’s attention.
This afternoon I have an interview for a roving security guard position at the local refinery. I want to work on Saturdays and Sundays only so I am sure they’ll be happy to accomodate me because those days are the two hardest to fill. Usually, recruiters get secretly happy when somebody wants to work those days. I need the weekdays off for doctors appointments and the drug and alcohol counselor training.