We are one day closer to Friday so Happy Thursday for lack of a better title and subject. This morning it dawned on me why I had a broken contact form on this website so I downloaded a new plugin, and in the process of re-creating the form using the plugin’s widgets, I found a way to make the “Submit” button match the buttons on the other pages. I like it when I accidentally stumble on the solution to secondary problems.
I have spent a lot of time working on my brother’s website, and if anything, I have a new found respect for web developers and I know that this is a career that I want absolutely and unequivocally nothing to do with. The folks that are able to blend both coding and design talents are truly exceptional. I have design talent and an eye for that but I have no hope for learning PHP and CSS.
This morning I again woke up early and that seems to be the new theme for my life; rather than fight it, I am simply going to accept it. This week I have spent a fair amount of time analyzing acceptance and how acceptance of aspects of life that we have no control over will reduce my anxiety and depression. This is my theme for the week. Ms. Tangie, my favorite program educator at the partial hospitalization program, says repeatedly that it is madness to try to understand some things that are well beyond our grasp and that we should instead accept them.
In other news, I was hoping that today was going to be my last day at the program but the staff felt strongly that I should have 4 more days and make my final day on June 2nd. This was a mild disappointment because one or two of the other patients have started to wear on my last nerve. The program educators repeatedly ask folks not to give their entire life’s story and unpack all of the baggage out loud because it may trigger others. They want us to stay in the present and here and now; I get it. I was triggered each day this week and this does not happen to me easily. So I am tired.
That much said, I have made a commitment to myself to see this through to the very end and am doing so. I can only have hope that the days going forward will have less intensity and drama. I was so tired yesterday that after going to get my medication, all I could really manage was parking myself on the couch and watching TV. I watched The Postman with Kevin Costner. It’s a delightfully cheesy post-apocalyptic and very dated film. The film predicted 2013 to be the post-apocalyptic year.