Over the past two days, I have hit the realization that it is time for me to go back to work in some kind of capacity. Being out of work and idle is actually hindering my progress in recovery from the mental health issues that began last year. I thought that volunteering would be a good first step in that direction and signed up to volunteer for Faithful Friends, but two hour shifts of cat cuddling really is not enough. I strongly believe that it is time to go back to work but I think I would like to go back to work in a driving role and not in an office. I believe an office might be overwhelming.
Early last week I began compiling a list of potential companies to apply for and I think I have narrowed down the rather lengthy list to several. Of all of the ones listed, the one that I am most keen on is the one that I saw posted for a truck dealership. The role involves test driving trucks that have been repaired and delivering and picking up trucks to and from the customers. This will keep me on the road in a basic capacity and is relatively simple in terms of a lack of complexity which is something I am looking forward to.
I also saw a posting for a car transporter and this one looks promising as well. I know this company does not pay much money but the work is simple and not demanding. It is also only on weekends which might be a better way to get back into the workforce rather than jumping into the deep end of full time employment. The mission for today is fill out these two applications and see what happens.
On another note, I am having some second thoughts about the apprenticeship that I applied to for software development. Some of my readers might be rightly asking why, considering I was so excited about the opportunity to begin with. I think the reason lies in that I do not want to work out of an office and having to negotiate the office politics feels me with existential dread. I have never been very good at figuring out the unwritten social rules of the workplace. I am good at doing the job given to me exactly as prescribed, but if the duty and expectation isn’t spelled out fairly clearly, I tend to fall flat on my face; largely due to being autistic.
I need to think about what it is that I want out of work and the reasons for working. If I find myself looking for a lot of money, I think I might be doomed to failure. I would rather work and earn just below the threshold for social security disability and keep SSDI. This would be tantamount to stable poverty instead of grinding poverty. Working as a car transporter would at least allow that to happen. However, I would never earn enough money to better my life by very much and I would have to hit a certain zen-like acceptance of embracing the basics. Well, at any rate, the first step is to see if I get a job offer.