This morning I have absolutely no reason to smile and I cannot think of any other title for my blog post. This afternoon I have some remote training for the gig economy job that I am going to start. In fact, I am hoping to do my first job this Thursday. I will have to wait and see how I feel about it on Wednesday night. I suppose I should just get it over with and make the decision now to do it. I thought I would feel somewhat excited about going back to work instead of the existential dread that I currently feel. I worry about everything going very wrong and I don’t know why I am so riddled with anxiety. I am so full of anxiety right now that focusing on anything is very difficult, including this blog post, so it may ramble. I hope that you do not mind the rambling.
Today is kind of looking up after all. My brother and his wife were kind enough to do my laundry for me in return for me lending them my car. I told them they did not have to fold it, they did anyway, and I appreciate the thoughtfulness. That simple act of having clean clothes made me feel good. I am terrible with things like executive functioning and every time I have some assistance with it, it is like a huge burden off of my shoulders. I hate asking for help as well because I feel then both beholden to that person and like a failure.
This is going to be a shorter blog article because I don’t have much to say. I was surprised my little tweet about cashiers being forced to stand as a holdover from 19th century thinking, got 1.5K of likes and over 200 re-tweets. I guess sometimes people really do read what I am practically shouting.