As the title reads, I am totally exhausted and it is the kind of exhaustion that one does not recover from right away. I am so tired of the grind that life in America is. It is even more exhausting knowing that life does not have to be this way. The poor and working classes have power in numbers yet we have become apologists for the wealthy and the corporations. As a group, we equate the wealthy with Jesus Christ when they would be actually closer to Satan.
Jesus Christ was all about healing the sick and feeding and sheltering the needy. There’s no way we can be a nation of Christians while simultaneously punishing the poor and working class. I have to pay higher insurance rates because my credit is not A-tier; never mind that my driving record is squeaky clean. I have to give my bank a 10 dollar monthly service fee because I don’t do 10 transactions per month. The list goes on and on.
I am the kind of weary that not even a vacation could cure. I would not be lying if I told you that I am only 2 levels above suicide. My hope for finding decent employment is fading. Perhaps my hopes were misplaced to begin with. I would willingly work in a warehouse or even working a floor buffer except my lower back is failing me. Just walking, bending, and stooping is enough to bring lightning bolts of pain.
I would say, “Please tell me things will get better” but I know that they will not. The only possible way things will get better would be to find some form of viable employment. But the end of the year is rapidly approaching and hiring is going to slow down. Furthermore, we are on the cusp of the next recession which is probably coming at an accelerated pace due to Donald Trump. How could Americans be so stupid as to put a repeat failure in charge of an economic machine that effects so many people?
I am so weary. I am weary of the selfishness and self-serving attitudes. I am tired of the “Fuck you! I’ve got mine!” attitudes. Simply sitting in a Dunkin Donuts and having breakfast is enough for me to hear the praise of every politician seeking to destroy our way of life. The older baby boomers got theirs – that message is loud and clear. But Gen Xers like myself have no piece of the pie. It’s even more tiring knowing that I will probably die while on the job. It’s not that I fear death, it’s that I would like to die on my own terms and not somebody else’s.