Fighting mental illness is never an easy battle as some days are merely harder than others. Yesterday, I managed to fight back from the brink of mental health crisis. I was teetering on that ledge and just grateful I could recover without having to go to an emergency room and potentially face a hospitalization. Whatever I did last night to keep stable, worked surprisingly well. Today I still feel pretty bad but I am several paces back from the precipitous ledge.
Today I am going to see my doctor and we are going to discuss a medicine change and a few things. Living with depression, anxiety, and possible borderline dementia is not easy. I managed some sleep last night but I am still bone weary tired. I just need to get over this hump so that I can get back to work. Despite finding a job, which I thought would help, has not. Maybe I am scared about going back to work because I have been out so long.
I wondered why I had this episode because just last Wednesday, I successfully completed my Cisco Certified Networking Associate training and I had not successfully completed something in a very long time. Then I snagged a job for 15.50 per hour and it will be an easy armored security guard gig. It’s not even a job that will be really stressful; it’s just rote work; the kind of work I need right now. I am not looking to be overwhelmed so early.
Sometimes I wonder if my mental illness and Autism is simply getting worse and more pronounced. Well, I am sitting here in the waiting room to see my doctor and drinking a decaf peppermint tea. I love peppermint tea as it feels good in the stomach.