This morning I am battling a wave of intense sadness and I am feeling really sorry for myself and my circumstances. That’s why I am sitting down to write this so I can get the thoughts out of my head. I find myself wishing for something really bad to happen to me and I know that these thoughts are serious indicators of problems.
Work is not going very well and I feel like I am floundering badly, like I am way out of my element. I miss the simplicity of being a security guard. It was easy work by comparison. I just have to keep on soldiering on and I will. Part of me wishes that they would just fire me already and get it over with because that is where things may be ultimately headed.
Having a mental illness really makes life challenging. Between depression, anxiety, and living on the spectrum, I just don’t know how to make it in the workplace. I have to remember to try and take it one day at a time. I just have to make it through somehow.