I feel really good this morning about taking care of some things that I have been putting off and putting off. I know that I need to see my endocrinologist and bariatric surgeon. What with all of the mental health issues that I have been having, I put off these two very important doctor visits. I feel good that I finally did it and made the appointments. I was so focused on the immediate problems that everything else took a back seat and it is relieving to face up to doing what I need to do.
Self-care continues to be a struggle for me and I depend on having alarms in my phone from the Any.do app. It is not enough to simply have them in my calendar as I need a second alert coming from the app. Furthermore, I need medication reminders from Medisafe. Between the calendar app and these two apps, I seem to be making my way a lot better. In some ways I am really scared of the results of all of the blood work that I need done because I have neglected basic bodily maintenance. But I keep telling myself not to be scared, just get the lab work done and let the results speak for themselves.
I thought it was really great how my bariatric surgeon, whom practices at the same hospital as the behavioral health unit I was in, made a special visit to see how I was doing. This was back in May of 2020 when I had my first major mental health relapse in 5 years. I feel really comfortable that she and her staff will not be judgmental of me as I am already going really hard on myself for the neglect. What they say is true about people with mental illness – we are hardest on ourselves and we are our own worst enemies. I know as the date of the appointment looms closer, I will probably feel anxiety and ill-at-ease but I will work through it.