Last night I think I had some improvement in sleep with both Doxepin and Trazadone but I tonight I am going to pay particular attention to my thoughts as I need to learn if they’re racing or not. I suspect I do have racing thoughts and that they may be contributing to the insomnia. Sleep was still really on the lighter side despite the assistance of the two additional medications. I also believe I might have been inaccurate when I met with the psychiatric nurse practitioner yesterday afternoon. I should have mentioned that I have difficulty staying asleep and the sleep is on the lighter side. I will have to make a mental note to mention this.
On a separate note, I feel cheerier this morning and instead of a 3 or 4 out of 10, I think I am a 6 out of 10. I will take this news. At least this weekend I will be really busy between my mom helping me clean and organize, building a PC to play EVE Online, and helping my friend, Jim, do some maintenance on a camper he and his wife just bought. The cleaning and organizing is not a whole lot of fun for me but it is something I must face and do. I believe I got so disorganized and dirty in the first place because of the crippling depression.
Since writing this blog is one of my principle coping methods, I am going to make certain to spend extra time to do write fairly detailed entries this weekend. Now that I have a feel for the way the partial hospitalization program operates, I am going to do better on the morning checkins as I want to answer the questions more accurately. My thinking is still a little on the slower side from the depression so I may end up still answering the questions as everyone is sharing for the next couple of days but that will be okay.
This partial program also is encouraging us to set a goal or two, and since I have a place to live and I am getting rental assistance from the State of Delaware, I would like to start thinking about going back to work or put that ball in motion. But for now the folks at the program want my focus purely on the program and getting better – I think I can get behind that.