One of the tough things about recent times is this whole COVID19 quarantine, stay-at-home event. It’s particularly bad for me because I suffer from anxiety, depression, and Bipolar II. Although, thankfully, I have not been experiencing any manias lately. The manic phases, while I feel on top of the world, are unpleasant in a way because I know I need to sleep but know that I am unable. Both having a mental illness and having too much unstructured free time makes things quite difficult. And my sleep apnea has come back to boot. I don’t really mind using the machine other than it dries me out. I do know that there is a humidification feature but it works a little too well and water ends up building inside the mask.
I have to structure some time today and I am thinking that I will do a push to finish up this article that I have been working on. It would be great to have it done to today. The extra money in payout would be very helpful. The problem is my heart just isn’t in it. I don’t care very much for technical writing anymore. I enjoyed it for a short time but now it feels tedious and boring. I really want to get back to work in Information Technology in Desktop Support or some role like that but it is very unlikely.
One of my goals during quaratine was to teach myself how to code and I found my heart was not in that either, at least for C. I think maybe I have to explore several different avenues of interests. I ended up returning the book on C. Maybe I will try my hand at web development using PHP. It might be nice to develop some custom themes for WordPress or at least learn how to do that kind of thing. I do not really know what it is I want to do. One side of me wants to learn graphic design and home design because I have ideas for custom homes. Again, this all amounts to having too much time; too much time to think and ponder. Too much time to worry.