I am,as they say in the southern US, “Jittery as a junebug.” Tomorrow I will be renting a car from Uber and be beginning my journey as a rideshare driver. The weekly rental fee is not too bad and the vehicle is an electric one that I will be able to charge at EvGO charging stations. I plan on purchasing a monthly membership to cut down on the expense of rapid charging. I worry that I will not be able to make up the cost of renting the vehicle and I know I will have to bust my ass in order to make any kind of money. I am scared, nervous, and I feel like the proverbial failure before I’ve even gotten started. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
This is a very unpleasant way to feel but I shall do my utmost best to earn a living. The worst case scenario is that this does not pan out and I go back to ground zero. That might not be so bad but I’ll put in the efforts. I also just feel defeated mentally, like there is no way out of the fix that I am in. Maybe I am starting to develop some suicidal ideation again. Maybe I just want to be completely left alone. Like I do not want anyone else around. This is not a good place to be in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I think I need some activity and to see that I can earn money and I can make it. I need some confidence boosters where I have almost 0 to none right now. The most <\/em>I have to look forward will be an unbearably hot summer – a summer that I already know will be virtually relentless.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I am,as they say in the southern US, “Jittery as a junebug.” Tomorrow I will be renting a car from Uber and be beginning my journey as a rideshare driver. The weekly rental fee is not too bad and the vehicle is an electric one that I will be able to charge at EvGO charging […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[2,5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-817","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mental-health","category-personal"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/goblackcat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/817","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/goblackcat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/goblackcat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/goblackcat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/goblackcat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=817"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/goblackcat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/817\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/goblackcat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=817"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/goblackcat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=817"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/goblackcat.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=817"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}