Over the past 60 days, I’ve had a lot of changes in both mental and physical health medications which have caused a lot of upheaval in my life. For a while I had random crying spells where I would be on the bus and suddenly I would start crying out of feelings of despair and hopelessness. The body and mind are not separate systems, they have to work together for everything to function optimally. The medication changes and starting to get my blood sugar back under control have done a lot to improve things.
When I was last in the hospital for bradycardia, I was pulled off of a couple of mental health medications: Topiramate, Mirtazapine, and Buspirone. When you are on a multidrug therapy for treatment-resistant major depressive disorder, it is often difficult to understand interactions between medications. Psychiatric professionals understand this too well because these medications work (or don’t work) for different people. Sometimes this is an art more of a science and the professionals go on empirical evidence to gauge what might work. Well, after being pulled off those meds my bradycardic episodes have cleared up.
I felt mentally worse for a spell as I was beginning to adjust to a normal. After a few weeks of taking insulin, Ozempic, and Actos my bloog sugar is slowly getting into a healthier range. I was battling diabetic neuropathic pain in my feet and we changed medication dosing so I would be taking it three times a day instead of twice and now I can walk pain free. I still cannot walk without a cane but I am strangely okay with that. I’ve been getting off of Effexor in favor of Fluvoxamine because of safety concerns with Effexor. Well yesterday I experienced a palpable turning of the corner in my mental state. I was happy all day. In fact, I was so happy that I took a long walk after work to a bus stop further away. As I was moving about with my cane, I felt a deep, abiding sense of warmth and happiness.
I woke up this morning to have the feeling last. Now that I think that the delicate balance of my medication situation has been worked out, I feel cheery in the morning and it seems to last through the day. Between the pulmonary embolisms and moments of fainting and bradycardia, I can really see how the body is comprised of individual systems and they must all work together to functional optimally. If the body is sick, the mind is heavily effected. If the mind is sick, the body does not function optimally.
This week is going to be a very exciting one. Of course I cannot tell Denisse why just yet. I have to be very creative and secretive. Denisse is sharp as a tack and I cannot risk her detective skills figuring this out. This is a good surprise and one that she will truly love. This week is simply going to crawl by. What I need now is to continue to feel good.