It’s definitely been quite a week! I bit off a lot with this Masters in Social Work program. Even with opting out of the practicum and the co-requisite class, I have my hands full. It seems like after I complete one writing assignment, 2 more pop up like the carnival game of whack-a-mole. The days are quite long and I am finding that I need to take one day off a week, which usually happens to be a Wednesday. That day I do nothing and end up sleeping most of the day away to recover. I am reminded again that I am not in my roaring 20s anymore.
But I am not really old yet either and I can handle this. I can do this. I just have to take it one day at a time and one challenge at a time. This weekend’s challenge is simply to get through two shifts of work and maybe try to do a little bit of studying while I am at it. If the studying does not happen, I am okay with that. I just cannot believe how fast the semester is going. The fifth week has already gone by. I am amazed.
I am also dealing with a somewhat worrisome issue at my age. I know I should not be dealing with incontinence but I am. I’ve gotten a message out to my doctor but have not heard anything just yet. I may have to send a follow-up message via the patient portal. I am fairly certain I do not have a UTI because I don’t have any painful urination or blood in my urine so I’ve no idea what’s going on. And damnit! I forgot (again) to schedule my colonoscopy and follow-up with the hematologist. So now to set an alarm on my phone.
I think I am adjusting to my new night medication pretty well. I had my psych P.A. pull me off of mirtazipine (Remeron) because of its metabolic side effects. I know that it can exacerbate blood sugar issues. Since stopping it I feel a bit better and the neuropathy in my feet seems to have lessened slightly. Walking is becoming easier now. I still clop like a horse though and I need a new pair of sneakers because the pair I have are getting worn. I know diabetics are supposed to replace shoes more often and I am finding out why.
Despite being as busy as I am, I have found out that with the change in the one night time medication, I don’t get the sudden onset of crying spells for no reason. I found that happening sometimes while studying at the library. I would get this sudden intense onset of heavy depression. I mean I would just want to sit there and sob. But no thoughts precipitated the episode. It was just a sudden and crushing weight. Thankfully, I do not feel that anymore.
I guess it is also noteworthy that I no longer dream anymore with this new medication. I had a completely dreamless sleep for three nights in a row. It’s simply amazing! I haven’t slept like this since I was a little boy. Literally, I have no dreams good or bad. I woke up once during the night to use the bathroom and I felt a strange sense of relief and smiled. I’m not having PTSD dreams, even mild ones.
I don’t know that there is much more to say this morning other than the coming week is going to be long and hard with lots to do. Oh before I forget. I got a 100 on my first ever masters paper! That felt really good. Yes, it was only a 2 page paper but it felt like a huge accomplishment.