I was feeling so depressed today that I took a walk to try and clear my head. The walk really didn’t help. I sat down on a rocking chair on the porch at around 10:30 this morning and still feeling very low when one of the neighborhood cats named Reggie approached me. I saw him walk up the stairs, and as he got closer, he meowed. Reggie has a very sad and mournful meow which just caused me to start sobbing. He jumped into my lap and began pressing his face against mine. Normally, the antidepressants that I take cause me not to be able to cry so I have to be very upset.
The relief was quite palpable however and Reggie stayed with me until I started to calm down and then he jumped down and made his way onward. That cat gave a gift I had really needed, the relief of the depression that was really plaguing me. I took a few moments to gather myself and went back up the stairs to my apartment. The post-sadness relief left me so exhausted that I laid down for a two hour nap. Let’s just say that I don’t feel joy but I am at least at baseline right now.
I can handle feeling at baseline. It’s a lot better than the alternative. All of the uncertainty in the world and the uncertainty in my life finally boiled over I guess. Reggie communicated more empathy and understanding than a human being ever could in that moment. Felines work in amazing ways; truly they do. I needed Reggie’s meow as a relief valve for the emotional pain I was feeling.