House Panther

Subsidized Housing Came Through

I am so happy and relieved today because I got a call from NAMI with the good news that my number came up for subsidized housing. Also, the unit is in a nice suburban neighborhood and not the City of Wilmington which is also a nice added bonus. Since this

A Post-Work Society

I have been thinking a lot about what a post-work society would look like. What would people do if they had a universal basic income. I know what I would do. I would pursue some passions of mine to help make society better. Personally, I think a lot of people

My Father

I want to begin this blog article by explaining that I'm estranged from my father. My father is responsible for much of my trauma. He caused me significant harm to the point where even seeing him can be triggering. Well, he called me and I answered without looking

I Am Angry And Frustrated

As the title reads, I am angry and frustrated at the world. It all began with seeing all of these corporations advertising. I became finally sick and tired of corporations and the wealthy telling us how to think and feel. I'm over the audaciousness and presumptuousness of it

I Am Filled With Inertia

Today I am filled with absolute inertia to do anything. I have neither the will nor the energy to get anything done but I do want to blog about it to get the thoughts out of my head. I am beating myself up and feeling like a failure. I feel

Using Podman To Deploy A Ghost Blog Server

Introduction My favorite blogging platform is Ghost. Ghost is simple yet powerful and does not require as much in the way or resources as WordPress. Ghost also does not suffer from the same security woes that pop up with WordPress. To properly use Ghost, you will want to have a

Using Podman To Deploy A Nextcloud Server

Introduction I really want to de-Google. I don't like what Google is doing and I do not feel like helping them improve their revenue any longer. There are plenty of articles out there that detail how to stand up a Nextcloud server using docker but I don'

Finish My De-Googling

I think my mission for this afternoon is to finish my de-Googling process. I'd start this morning except I'm going to a brunch with some friends and I'm terrible about being interrupted and resuming so I'll wait to start. I have absolutely

Mornings Are Difficult

One of the problems with having Major Depressive Disorder is dealing with mornings. Mornings continue to be really difficult and I awaken feeling down but not quite as down as I used to. I think it is because antidepressant medication levels might be lower? I really have no idea and

Waiting At The Social Security Office

Today began with a trip to the Social Security office at 9 to hopefully have this hearing for an expedited benefits reinstatement for my Social Security Disability Insurance benefits. I hate these waiting rooms because they're noisy and people are breaking the no cell phone rule left and

The Importance Of Self Praise

It took awhile for the importance of self-praise to sink in. I understood it from an intellectual perspective but not viscerally. This evening I felt it viscerally. I'm beginning to understand the importance on a deep level. The partial hospitalization program that I was in last month kept

Tuesday Morning Thoughts

This morning I am again up early and doing a lot of thinking - perhaps too much thinking - about the future. I am worried about my financial and housing situation right now. I have a lot to do including starting to get rid of some excess possessions and downsizing.

Riding For Health Again

I am about to embark again on a long dormant activity: bicycle riding. The last time I did any distance riding was about 10 years ago and I truly miss riding. I miss the activity and miss the good feeling that it would give me. My brother brought my bicycle

Self Hosting Services Behind CGNAT

Introduction With the IPv4 address space depletion, many ISPs have resorted to CGNAT and the assignment of a private IP address instead of giving their residential customers a public one. This presents a problem for those who want to self host their own services out of their home. Fortunately, WireGuard

Back On The Bicycle

After 10 years, I finally got back on the bicycle to start riding again. I am really out of shape so even riding one mile is not easy but I am proud of myself for starting again. A journey starts with a small step forward and that's exactly

Motivation To Learn JavaScript

So I am really struggling right now to come up with the motivation to learn JavaScript because I am so focused on the HTML and CSS aspect of this web development class that I am taking, The Odin Project. It feels like it is too dramatic a shift. If I

A Waste of Time

It turns out that this partial hospitalization program at MeadowWood Behavioral Health Hospital is a giant waste of time. It is nothing more than a psychiatric mill and a warehouse; simply a place to go during the day and nothing more, perhaps everything less. To say I am disappointed in

An Old Hobby Rediscovered

In the coming weeks I know that I am going to have to prepare for my eventual move to subsidized housing through NAMI so I've begun a deep cleaning of my apartment and going through my various odds and ends. While working on my office last night, I

Signed Up For PHP

Today I did what I really did not want to do and made the bus trip into New Castle, to sign up for the one partial hospitalization program in the State of Delaware that accepts my health insurance: MeadowWood. As an aside, the US bloody US health insurance system is

Modern Rube Goldberg

So my previous posting and the ensuing research made me realize just how much I over thought my plans to have a little bit of fun with a site-to-site network when I could just do a software-defined overlay network and it would vastly simplify things. Instead of doing things like

A Fun Project

Once I move, I've got a fun little project that I've actually begun doing the research for today since I enjoy this kind of thing, especially when it is about open source, Linux, and BSD. I think I got my friend, Jim, intrigued a little by

Preparing to Move

Today I had some time to kill and I wasn't feeling like doing any learning on The Odin Project so I decided to do some prep work for moving to subsidized housing. The subsidized housing that I am going to be moving to includes all utilities and internet

Been a Rough Two Days

As the title reads, it has been a rough two days. My car has been voluntarily surrendered to the local Hyundai dealership and I'm now without a car. I guess I hadn't realized how upending the experience would really be. After dropping off the keys, I

Working on a Plan

Right now I am working on a future plan to earn a small amount of money once I get back on Social Security Disability. I know that I am going to need to stay somewhat busy without exceeding the substantial gainful activity threshold and that is going to be difficult

Mixed Feelings

Today I have quite a few mixed feelings. To start with, I'm feeling both upset and relieved simultaneously about surrendering my car. I know that I will save a lot of money on insurance, gas, and maintenance which will be nice. But I will lose a lot of