Black Cat Blog

Thoughts, Stories, and Ideas

  • My Good Habit

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    Daily writing prompt
    What’s one habit that has improved your life the most?
    View all responses

    A habit that has really improved my life is a commitment to life long learning through engagement in a hobby. For me, learning is a far better antidepressant than the ones that Big Pharma have come up with. My hobby is my home computer lab where I tinker, break things, and learn. While sometimes frustrating, this is all part of the learning experience and ultimately leads to a sense of accomplishment when a problem gets solved. I make it a part of my day to build, grow, and maintain my home lab.

    Learning is also a love as it truly has to be. I pity the people who only learn when it is a requirement; they lack hobbies or interests. The neat thing about learning opportunities is that they can be found in many places. I discovered the home lab hobby at one of my local libraries that has a technology center. I visited the technology center and saw what people were doing. The next thing I knew I was diving in head first into the next learning opportunity.

    I recommend more people try out a hobby that will help them grow and learn. Hobbies and interests that engage you will improve your life as they have my own.

  • Humble Pie Slice

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    As the old adage goes, last night I ate a rather prodigious slice of humble pie but I am laughing about it now. Sometimes when we teach ourselves how to do things over the years, we go down rabbit warrens and holes which are our areas of interest. This makes the learning somewhat random and unguided. As a result I ran into a really challenging networking concept that was made even more so by the simple fact that I had never even heard about it. The concept is called TCP offloading.

    In a nutshell, TCP offloading moves some of the TCP processing from the CPU to the actual network card. I think I should have heard about this but did not. Anyhow, it at least partially accounted for the very confounding reason why I could not remotely access my home lab server. I took a brief pause and I think I am about to have another serving of humble pie because I am back to not being able to reach my little tower again. Well, now it turns out the second time is a mismatched subnet mask. This was far simpler.

    I made it to work on time and I feel pretty good because I will be going to a higher paying job; not necessarily a better job but more money and weekly pay will help. Come on background check! Please complete soon. I want to get started on my next endeavor. OPS Security Group blows dawg and it’s time to get the fuck outta dodge. I am excited simply for making more money. I know the company I am going to won’t be any great shakes but the extra $800-$1000 is going to be very helpful.

  • Some Unexpectedly Good News

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    I’ve been applying to jobs so that I can get out from under OPS Security Group and all of the nonsense surrounding working for this fly-by-night security company. Yes, I am a security guard but I don’t honestly mind it anymore because I am unlearning the unhealthy ways I’ve been defining myself. I’ve been defining myself by what I do for a living. Well, I really no longer want to do this. I digress ….. I don’t know what possessed me to apply to a security company that twice rejected me but they had a lot of openings so I figured they’d be a little more open to me this time around.

    So I wasted no time at all in filling out the application. Lo and behold I was contacted for an AI interview about 30 minutes later. I completed the AI interview and an hour later I received a conditional offer letter of employment for a $22.00/hour security guard position. So simply taking the time to fill out the application netted me a $5.00/hour raise. Now I just have to wait for the background check completion and New Employee Orientation and OJT to be scheduled. I just cannot wait to be rid of OPS Security Group and its shenanigans. Those phockers can pound sand. It makes me angry that I’ve been so wantonly underpaid. It was a cruel joke and its got a definitive end in sight.

    After finishing out my weekday 4 hour shift at OPS, I stopped by Total Wireless at the recommendation of one of my Uber drivers. He wasn’t joking when he brought up what a great cell carrier it is. I got my sweetheart a Galaxy S25 FE for $199.99 and I chose a Moto G Stylus 2025 freebie. She needed something good and I’ve always had a good experience the Stylus. Last year’s model is no exception – it’s still quite impressive.

  • Feeling Cheerful

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    I am not certain why I feel so cheerful this morning other than I think that the low dose of Abilify combined with the Luvox is working quite well. Despite only about 5 hours of sleep, I feel pretty effective. I can always take a nap when I get home after my 4 hour shift. Yesterday I applied to Securitas and Kid Ridez. I am hoping that I hear something back from either or both of them. OPS is getting old and is a pain in the butt to deal with.

    I think I am in a world of hurt. I know I am very overdue on my electric bill and that has got to get paid come tomorrow. I will do it. I also have to get the cell phone situation worked out for Denisse and I. Denisse’s phone is hanging on by a thread and I have got to save us some money somehow. I am thinking the both of us are going to Total Wireless. They have the best offering right now that will get our monthly line expense down to $45 per line and I might be able to get an additional $15 off of my Verizon Fios line. I will also be able to cancel my Disney+ and Hulu subscription because it will be included with our plans.

    I have to remember that I have a therapy appointment this afternoon and I am looking forward to that as well. I rather enjoy being able to chat with Nan. The discussions prove fruitful and I like her very much. I always feel like my head is clearer after a session. It’s a feeling I rarely get with the coping skills. The coping skills are just that – coping. They help with distress tolerance and relief. While not insignificant, they only really help in the moment and not so much for the long term.

    Last night I feared that today was going to feel like a rough day so I was anxious and didn’t feel like tired. I finally went to bed at 12:30. I woke up feeling like things would be good today. And they really are going well so far. Surprisingly, I don’t feel foggy headed. Yes, I could use more sleep but I do feel good. I think this will last to some degree. At least I hope so.

    I want to spend more time looking for greener pastures in terms of employment. That will be the next phase. I think I will do that this morning because everything is stable with the home lab. Spending time on productive matters will help make me feel even better.

  • Today’s Plan

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    I think I have a good plan for today. After work I am going to see about working for Securitas in a hospital position that they have advertised or whatever else they may have. It’s time for me to make a change in employment. OPS has really changed their attitude towards me and have become less accommodating and friendly. The change is delicate balance between subtle and overt. I guess that’s the best way to describe it. My colleagues and supervisor have become less friendly and more distant towards me. That’s a sign that I have worn out my welcome at OPS and it is time to move on.

    Then this afternoon I am going to give Kid Ridez a call about being a van driver for them. The pay is good at $21.50 per hour and the hours look to be okay. Plus, it is a Monday through Friday position. This I could like and I could lessen my dependence on OPS for a paycheck or maybe leave altogether. I don’t know just yet but we will see what comes down the pike. All I know is that it is time to be proactive instead of purely reactive. Also, I don’t really want to work 7 days a week if it can be avoided.

    I even brought a change of clothes with me so I am ready to go come 11:00am today. I know at my age I do not care much for change. I like routine and predictability. Presently, a routine is difficult to establish because my job hours are all over the place. The idea is to make things easier on my mental state. I figure if I can do that, life will get easier and better.

    Just before I get home in the early afternoon, I have to make a stop at the Department of Labor. This is one fight that I am looking forward to. OPS denied me overtime pay for July 4th because I took vacation time on July 5th. There is nothing in their handbook allowing this or stating this. Instead of fight it, I listened to what the district manager had to say and basically stated that I understood. Now, I’ll take it to labor and file an official complaint. I’m not going to jump through hoops with a company already looking to can me. This will be fun because I may even get a percentage of the penalties and fines assessed to my employer. That would be a nice little windfall to go towards my wedding. I love my baby girl very much. When I say she’s the best, I truly mean it.

  • Today’s Thoughts

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    It’s taken a bit of time but I finally have my home lab the way I want it so I think I can quit think I can quit tinkering. I have one final and small problem to deal with – remote access VPN. It’s still not working 100% but I can use ssh as a workaround so I will. But emails are working and so are the web and app servers. I can call this a 99% victory. I might want to figure out some cloud backup scheme but I don’t really use the cloud anymore and don’t want to go back to it.

    I have to go to work today and I really don’t want to. I don’t feel like making Daniel Costa, the owner of the company I work for, wealthier. He’s already a multi-millionaire and yet somehow pays us less than the average wage. The good news, however, is that next week I will be going to a competitor to apply and hopefully get hired. I will also be looking outside of the security field. I’ve got a lead on a driving job Monday through Friday that pays $4.00 per hour more than I am presently earning. I might keep the weekend shift that I have though.

    Despite feeling somewhat tired, I am in a pleasant state of mind and pretty much ready for whatever life throws at me today. I have to figure out what I will be doing while at work to pass the time. Maybe I will write an article on my tech blog, The TCP/IP Guy. That would be kind of fun. I’ll write an article on IPv6 or WireGuard. I don’t really know just yet. I might even set myself up to watch some shows to pass the time.

  • Feeling Somewhat Chuffed

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    This morning I solved a vexing problem so I am feeling good. I decided to redo my home lab from the ground up because I did a poor job planning and implementing it. Thus, my WordPress site got compromised. I am not proud of that one because normally I am really good about hardening systems. While troubleshooting something, I forgot to re-enable SELinux and I think that might have been the culprit. At least I had all of my posts backed up and all I lost was a draft of something I wasn’t really feeling anyway.

    I just re-imported the posts on a fresh WordPress install with only the minimum number of plugins that I need in order to have everything function. I had a lot of extra shit that should have been reserved for a development environment. Lesson ultimately learned but it was a good one.

    When I get home from work, I’ll bring my mail server back up but also re-implemented. Just by reading some man pages, I learned a lot more and I didn’t even have optimal connectivity between my cloud VPS and my home network. I never knew that multiple addresses could be assigned to a single WireGuard interface. Instead, I had 3 tunnels I was maintaining it became kind of a routing nightmare. This should make things vastly easier.

    I am thinking about re-implementing the mail server on FreeBSD for the ZFS file system snapshot features. I already decided to standardize on one web server instead of having three separate ones. I also went the FreeBSD route for that. Mastodon is still powered by Debian Trixie. On the server side of things I profess to have a deep love for both FreeBSD and Alma Linux. For all intents and purposes, they’re equally good. I generally use FreeBSD when I need the features that ZFS provides or I need a routing/firewall platform. Alma Linux excels as a hypervisor. I do love Arch Linux for my desktop experience.

    Sometimes the options are so equally good, it’s difficult to make a decision. I do want to avoid a homogeneous network as much as that is possible. It’s better to run a heterogeneous network so that you have less chance of a single point of failure: I am looking at you Microsoft. In many networks, that single point of failure is Windows.

  • An Honest Question

    I have an honest and open question here: Why is it that some occupations are really looked down on? I think the answer mainly lies in attempts by the moneyed class to keep us fighting each other instead of them. It’s one more age-old tool of psychological control perhaps devised by Sun Tzu himself. Despite having almost 3 decades worth of experience in information technology, I find myself working as a security guard and it’s amazing how people treat us as worthless.

    I feel like a glorified and uniformed Walmart greeter. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy being kind and friendly. I do not enjoy being the subject of ridicule. This ultimately brought me to the whole notion of the occupational caste system in America. We are judged by what we do for a living. This basically forces me to seek self-identity elsewhere. I am fortunate enough that I (mostly) do not see myself as a failure; ‘Murica failed me as it has done so many others.

    I feel like the folks that work so hard to make life livable, safe, convenient, etc. are often accorded the least amount of respect. I already do not love what I do and I feel like I am in a state of chattel slavery. This makes my already unpleasant job that much more difficult. Then I have to be a whipping boi for other peoples’ problems!? And then I have to go home and worry about how I am going to make ends meet. I have had enough of this broken system.

  • The Conundrum of Anonymity

    I am facing a moral dilemma right now and I do not really know what direction to go. Thus far, I’ve managed to stay fairly anonymous on the internet because I practice good operational security. However, the thought is swirling in my brain about giving up the anonymity because my brain is telling me that it is based in fear. While being anonymous is a form of protection and has its implied security, sometimes I just want to give this up in favor of screaming who I am from the rooftops. The trouble is that once you do this, there’s no putting that genie back in the bottle.

    Do I give up my anonymity online and practice what I preach about not living in fear of my government? Well, I don’t fear my government so much as its reprisal for my criticisms. I don’t want to be placed at some black site and tortured and imprisoned. Maybe I am being dramatic or maybe not. Given what’s happened to our immigrants, my fear might not be so misplaced after all.

    I am principally using this blog as a journal to help me manage the difficulties associated with mental illness. I hope that it, in some ways, furthers society’s goals to end the stigmatization of mental health discussion and treatment. Sometimes I feel like it would be powerful to not hide behind a pseudonym and actually tell the world who I really am. Other times, I realize that there can be power in anonymity as well. Anonymity allows you to stay in the fight against injustice longer because it takes the system that much longer to discover who you are.

    I often proclaim that I am not afraid of my country’s government and I think I am just probably trying to convince myself that I am not. Anonymity provides security and it is actually reductive to level the accusation, “If you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear.” If only, le sigh, it were that simple.

  • Feel Like Giving Up

    I feel like giving up this foolish escapade to write a book. I say it’s foolish because I seem to keep on restarting and starting over but getting nowhere at all and learning nothing. Perhaps I wasn’t meant to write a book. Perhaps I should focus my efforts more on video content creation teaching people about networking and systems administration through building computer labs. Maybe it would be more interesting and engaging through recorded content. It will be something that maybe I need to explore.

    I know blogging is kind of falling out of style where as vlogging and short video content is growing in demand. The kids want to learn these days but they want to learn in ways that they know is best to them. Many don’t learn that well from written content and learn much more effectively from short form video content. Is it something that I deign to try? I don’t really know.