My brain is just all over the place today. I know I haven’t blogged in a while and I think the reason is that mostly things have been going well and I haven’t had much to say but today my thoughts are racing and I have to get them out of my head; in between the election, moving, and anxiety. Here goes my stream of consciousness. Hope you enjoy the ride.
I am excited and nervous about moving in with my girlfriend. I know she is going to whip me into shape about staying organized and keeping my stuff neat and clean. I think she will be good for me. I hope I will be good for her. I hope the two of us will be able to make this work. This is a big life’s step for me because at 47 years old, I’ve never lived with a woman before. I’ve always been something of a late bloomer and I love my girlfriend for not judging me for this.
Now for the actual moving part, I just cannot seem to get my ass in gear right now. I still have some packing to do and the fucking movers are coming at noon today. I am in a tizzy and I don’t handle change (even good change) all that well. Fortunately, a lot of my stuff is packed. I just have a little bit to do. I also have to get to the bank to take out some money so that I can pay the movers. That won’t be hard.
Now for the election – I feel a deep sense of hopelessness about the country I live in. I think this is fueling some of the anxiety I am feeling. I just don’t know what Trump is going to do to fully wreck the economy and the country. So much unknown is making living in the present incredibly challenging right now. I just cannot understand how so many people in the US are racist, bigoted, xenophobic, and transphobic. It’s simply beyond my understanding. I guess in times like these we really have to lean on our family, friends, and loved ones and stick close together. It is our relationships that will carry us through.