My mind was really on hyper drive yesterday and into today. I am thinking about ways to earn money beyond the instability of being a security guard. I hate my security guard job because I feel locked in and that I have no freedom. The job is honestly a bullshit one because I sit in a police department HQ and watch cameras.
I feel like a failure and like everything I try to do will just be like Groundhog Day, a repeat. Why can’t I be successful like my brother? Why am I broken? How did I draw the short straw in life? Who knows what my next move will be.
Today I guess I am going to vote because the election is important. Then I will sit in the library and take stock of how little my net worth is. Maybe I should die if I’ve outlived my usefulness. Maybe the Republicans are right. If I cannot be a wage slave, then I might really be a drag on society.