On my way in to work, I had a bad panic attack. I know this was brought on by my worries about money and making ends meet. My heart was racing and I was shaking. I did the best I could to bring myself down from that awful feeling. In the end, I succeeded but it sadly set the tone for the remainder of the day. It doesn’t look good to have a security guard have a panic attack but I think I masked it pretty well. When I got to work, the tears kind of started flowing a bit but I didn’t break down sobbing.
I have a guaranteed shift on Thursdays and Fridays from 4PM-12AM and I am lucky that I don’t have to worry about relief coming. My shift closes out the day so I can go straight home afterwards. The Dart bus service was all kinds of messed up today due to ongoing post-snowstorm cleanup efforts which meant that I was stuck taking a Lyft through my company. It really and truly hurts that I had to spend another 40.00 to get home. This means my company made money off of me and I lost 3 hours of income to simply get to work. This hurts emotionally and physically. It takes a real toll.
I am still thinking that I just might be able to get this Uber thing off of the ground. It’s going to take grit and determination. I hope this does not become like the donkey and the carrot for me. I wish I had some better ideas for earning money but I feel like I am all washed up and that I’m just being deluded if I think I am going to get an IT training business off of the ground. Maybe I need to think of other ideas. Maybe these ideas will come with watching more YouTube videos.
I have another idea how I might make money. By no means am I a financial wizard, but I think I could learn bookkeeping and potentially do that under my business, Avvira Global LLC. I’ll have to look at some other things and brainstorm. It’s hard for me to come up with ideas so I may need to make use of ChatGPT for ideas. I am really feeling the aftermath of my panic attack and I still have 2 full hours of work left. I just want to crash and crash hard.
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