I’m about to usher in another challenging week trying to negotiate and mental and physical hellscape that is the United States. I’m now waffling between Uber and upgrading my security license. I cannot make a choice that doesn’t feel like an all-encumbering decision. Perhaps I would do simply better not to fight it and just let the phase pass. There are some things to fight and coping skills are not working now. So I may have to simply ride the unpleasantness.
I want to relax today but knowing I have to work at my security job tomorrow ruins everything. I just feel like being stupid and worthless and I feel like I’ll be okay with that for today. After all, tomorrow, Thursday, and Friday are going to be painful. I wish life would get easier but it’s not. It’s getting sadder.
The bright spark is Denisse. Without her I don’t know where I would be. This is going to be short because the day will not be easy.