Author: House Panther

I’m tired of having to rely on public transportation. I’m tired of the disruptive and rude passengers. I’m tired of the people getting on intoxicated. It makes me late for work because inevitably police have to get involved to yank the person off the bus.

But I think most of all that I’m tired of being poor. I’m tired of the worry and tired of being punished by society. Being poor is not my fault. I’ve had a series of life setbacks that put me in this condition. I’ve done nothing wrong whatsoever.

America gives automatic undue credit to the wealthy because money is the new “god.” Why is it that wealth is so revered? I mean look at Donald Trump. If he isn’t proof that you can have money and still be absolutely low class, I don’t know what is anymore. I also want to know why America is generally anti-education.

I’m sick of the myths and mystique surrounding being wealthy. So many of the wealthy are not deserving of their money because they exploited people. They were not paid fairly for their labor. I’m just pissed off!

I had another difficult night sleep-wise. I think I need to get some more melatonin because that supplement worked very well. I will pick up some this weekend. When I woke up, I discovered my mom had tried to call me several times. My mom is now situated in her apartment at the memory care program. I am truly worried for her because she definitely has sundowning syndrome as it seems her symptoms are worse at night. I will give mom a call later today.

I don’t really want to go to work this afternoon but I need the money. I need more money coming in the door so I can afford to keep Denisse and I afloat. I want Denisse to have some nice small luxuries so I will have to work (unfortunately) harder. I am not a fan of hard work but one of smart work. Working hard isn’t necessarily smart. Smart work is finding the means to be more efficient with my time.

I am not adverse to working long hours though. I would just like my efforts to be more personally beneficial. The only way to make this happen though is to work towards ownership. When one has ownership of the means, they ultimately earn more money and do it smartly. Unless one is at the executive level of a company, they are just a mere cog in the machine having to accept scraps of money for work performed.

Personally, I am absolutely tired of being impoverished in a country that punishes poverty. It takes 2-3x longer to get basic needs taken care of. Trips to doctor’s appointments and the grocery store end up taking half of the usable day. My exit strategy is all about starting and running my own business. I want more of my time to directly benefit me.

I have no motivation for today but it’s not a depressed feeling. I feel so utterly relaxed that I just want to ride it out at home. I know that some of this feeling is the after effects of a THC buzz last night. I’m not complaining and it’s nice to feel this way every once in a while. But I’m going to need to shelve the Delta 9 for a while. I’m using it more than I want.

I don’t have any grand plans for today. I’m thinking about heading to the library after I run a few errands. Perhaps I’ll get a few light tasks accomplished that will be kind of fun. I really do enjoy working on my business so it will be time well spent.

It’s a cold day in March too. The wind makes things quite blustery. I wish it were not so cold. I just want to wrap myself in a blanket like a burrito. That’ll be for tonight.

I decided to pick up a shift offered to me this morning because it is nice and easy; somewhat chill. I need the money anyways. I figure I might as well get paid and work on my business at the same time. I did get my goal accomplished to stand up a development container for my laptop.

I even have my technology stack architected so I am ready to go once I can get something at least minimally viable designed in WordPress and WooCommerce. Before I can do that, I still need something basic like a logo. I went back to the drawing board on the logo. I didn’t like what I had designed originally. Normally I tend to be decisive so I don’t know where all this indecision is coming from.

I really want to have something minimally viable in time for April 1st. I want to make some tangible progress here and I am not simply stuck at “readiness.” It’s time to start lining up customers and making things happen. It would be great if I could bring in a tidy average sum of 25,000.00 per month. I think once I am able to do that, I can consider taking on W2 employees.

I feel a bit better now than I did when I woke up. It was good to pick up the extra shift today. That’s more money to invest in my business.

I need a minimally viable launch for my business website and e-commerce store. In order to begin this process though, I need a business logo. I really like the idea of a lotus flower with hex blue and hex green petals. I’d like to see a variation with some highlights and shadowing on the petals as well. I might have to upgrade my ChatGPT to the paid account in order to accomplish this.

After evaluating some AI tools, I’ve found both ChatGPT and Claude to be useful. ChatGPT is better at generating images and voices. Claude is better for vibe coding. I think I might have to have Claude build me some custom business tools centered around my needs or at least help me develop them. I need a good development environment as well.

Even if I just set up the development environment that would be good. I don’t know how much my brain will nominally handle today. I feel somewhat down in the dumps and tired. I know it is Saint Patrick’s Day and part of me would like to go out and have a little fun, but as I get older, I like relaxing and recharging at home. I am becoming more of a home body. I’ve seen a lot and done a lot in my life. Now I am starting to appreciate simplicity.

So maybe I set less grand goals and simply set up the development environment for the website and e-commerce platforms. This would be more easily achieved and I can at least feel like I got something accomplished.