Black Cat Blog

I think I am finally ready to go back to work so I am going to sign up for Social Security’s Ticket to Work program. I want to start part time so I am going to go that route. I want to earn under the substantial gainful activity threshold so I can continue to collect my benefits. I think I would like to go back to work as a security guard part time. Hopefully I can find such a position that will allow me to do that. I really have my girlfriend Denisse to thank for my readiness.

I know I am ready for work because I am finding myself bored during the day so I know I am ready to take on a little bit more responsibility. I don’t think I am ready for full time work right now and that would be overwhelming but I do think I could take on a part time job so I am looking for a Ticket to Work provider to assist me with that route. Perhaps I could find something part time that would allow me to work from home. That would be nice too but I don’t know of such a thing.

So far I have reached out to two providers but I have not heard anything back from them. I might have to reach out to a few more and see who gets back to me first. I wonder why there isn’t much interest in working with me. I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong. Well, maybe I shouldn’t stipulate in my initial contact that I just want to work part time. That might be what is turning the providers away. The providers may make their money based on getting people off of disability altogether and that may make me expensive. I don’t really know.

In other news, I am looking forward to seeing Denisse today. I miss her when I am not around her and she cheers me up. I am feeling a bit down because my professional life is in shambles. I feel like I should be working in information technology professionally and that I should be earning a full time wage but I know I am not ready for that level of stress and responsibility right now. After all, my psychiatric physician’s assistant and I are still working my medications out. While I am doing better, I am not quite there yet.

Well this morning has been incredibly frustrating. I am on Social Security Disability Insurance and Social Security sent me a letter about the Ticket to Work program. It turns out that I am not eligible for the program for two years because I am in what is called EXR status which is expedited reinstatement of my benefits. Here I was looking forward to using Ticket to Work to try and find a part time job and now I guess I’ll just have to do it on my own.

Despite this frustration, I did find a few security guard jobs in my area. I have worked security before when I’ve needed money between information technology jobs and I even did it when I was last on SSDI so I think I’ll spend some time today and apply. I’ll feel less frustrated and like I’ve accomplished something. But I cannot help but feel grouchy over the whole affair. I mean you would think Social Security would want me to go back to work, right!?

I don’t really want to go back to working security but I will do it because the money is good, the stress is low, and the job is generally easy. The extra money per month will help out a great deal too. It means I’ll have more money to be able to see Denisse and spend time with her. That will be good for me and her. I just don’t know how it will all work with transportation yet. I know I have access to paratransit but I don’t know if it will run the hours that I need in which case I’ll probably need the bus. I don’t want to take the bus at night.

Why is life so needlessly hard in the United States!? The question is rhetorical because I know the answer: we don’t tax the wealthy so there is no money for social welfare systems to make life better for the poor and working class. Everything is artificially means tested to a Federal Poverty Level that is destitution, not poverty. This is the reality that I am in. Man I am so frustrated right now that I want to scream!

I have some very good news today. I will be moving back to my old apartment and out of the miserable situation which I am in. Also, my girlfriend will be moving in with me and I am excited about this. My current landlord let me out of the lease with 30 days written notice and I am grateful for that because the place I am in is filthy and really not fit for habitation. It’s very poorly maintained as well. I just now need to coordinate a time to move in with my brother who owns the apartment. My brother is also glad to have me back as a tenant.

It will be so nice to move back in to that apartment. It is bright and cheery with plenty of space. It’s also located in a really nice neighborhood for walking with easy access to public transportation. The pluses are quite a few so I am happy. The next thing I will do will be to pick up a part time job as a security guard which will pay around 18.00 per hour and will supplement my Social Security Disability nicely.

That’s about the size of the news other than I am happy and looking forward to the future for the first time in a very long time. Things don’t look bleak for a change. I won’t be lonely either because I’ll have my girlfriend, Denisse, with me and I’m looking forward to spending the holidays with her. I’m looking forward to Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. It is going to be so nice not being lonely!

This morning I feel really moved to write to write a blog entry about the kindness and generosity of my brother, and by extension, his wife. The two of them have allowed me and my girlfriend, Denisse, to move into the apartment that they have vacant and have allowed us to start paying rent effective December 1st even though we will be occupying it a little more than a month before then. My brother and his wife have done us a tremendous favor. I only hope that one day I can be there for him when he needs help.

I truly believe that when we perform acts of kindness for others, we get kindness returned back. I basically rescued Denisse from a bad situation and helped to get her through a rough time. Now the two of us will be living together and enriching each other’s lives. I am really looking forward to the future for the first time in a very long time. My brother made it possible for Denisse to get back on her feet. He made it possible for me to move out of this uncomfortable living situation that I am currently in.

Now my next task is to get a part time job once I move in to the apartment. I want to earn beneath the substantial gainful activity threshold and keep my Social Security Disability for the time being. That will provide enough money for me to live in stable poverty and afford all of my basic needs without stress.