This is going to be one long rant so just skip it if you don’t want to read. This day has been craptastic. My job sends me to the wrong site so I have to pay extra money to go to the correct site. I ask if they could give me a little help and the answer is almost always no. This will be the last double shift that I ever do for this company. They can figure it out.
The only reason I agreed to do the double shift in the first place is because I was under the impression that I wouldn’t have to stand from 8-4. Now when midnight rolls around I am going to be tired beyond all reason. I hate that companies think they own me. Two words: fuck that. The only freedumb in America is for one to be exploited.
More people need to stand up for their rights. Damn I am in a foul mood! I feel like baiting someone into an argument. I’m in rare form and spoiling for a fight. I wonder if I am just going to snap. Yeah wouldn’t that be a sight to see.
At least I have something to look forward to tomorrow morning. I cannot wait to sit in zazen for a bit. It’s been a long time since I’ve practiced Zen meditation so I don’t expect any immediate benefits. In fact, I may have difficulty letting everything flow through me unheeded and unacknowledged. Zen takes a certain amount of patience and stoicism. I hope that it will be like riding a bike and I can pick up where I left off.
I guess if I could manage 15-30 minutes that would be great. I want to quiet my mind and this is the way. Medication does not work as I’ve been diagnosed with treatment resistant major depressive disorder. Meditation was the answer a decade ago. I remember after doing it for a month I began to have tangible benefits. I remember being utterly relaxed and filled with joy and gratitude without any substances.
Basically, I need to take actions. Instead of telling myself I am going to meditate eventually, I’ve come up with the exact time frame.
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