Frustrating Day

Today has been an incredibly frustrating and high anxiety day. My anxiety ran so high that not even my known coping skills of box breathing and painting on my Buddha Board could help bring it down. So I ended up taking an Ativan this afternoon which pretty much knocked me out for about two hours. Anyhow, here is how the story goes.

Something told me that it would be a good idea to visit my local Delaware DHSS Social Services Office to see if things were on track to have my benefits started effective April 1st which would be the 30 day mark. It was early in the day so I was cheerful and patient when handed the news that things were screwed up. Indeed it was a good idea that I made the journey. One of the benefits representatives and I worked through everything. I resent all of the documentation that she needed in but I haven't heard if I am on track. I just now know that she's received it at least. I'll probably check in some time next week for further information.

I was so hell-bent on getting to the office that I took my antidepressants late but that didn't seem to have any adverse effect on my mood. After my trip to the social services office, it was off to the library to get my e-file authorization forms for taxes signed, scanned, and sent in to the accountant. Perhaps that was the one of two things that went well. Since I was at the library, I began working on an outline for a book on Open Source Systems Administration that I am planning on writing. That went well. I have some really good ideas that will make for informative reading. While I am writing this outline, I get a bill from the state of Delaware for 84.00 for benefits which kind of pisses me off but I get it.

Now comes the true icing on the cake. My mom calls me to tell me that she received a letter from the US Social Security Office for an in-office appointment on April 24th, 2024 at 11am. I could feel my head ready to explode. Back in the second week in March, I visited the US Social Security Office in Wilmington, DE and thought we had converted this to a telephone appointment with a Social Security Disability Extended Benefits Reinstatement Specialist. Apparently this was not done. According to the representative that I spoke to at the time, the Extended Benefits representative is only available via telephone. Now I am left wondering whether or not that is even true. I am ready to go off of the deep end right now.

Who knows how long the wait is going to be to speak with an Extended Benefits Reinstatement Specialist and I need this money very badly. I want to get angry and scream but I'd better temper this mood and put on an Academy Award worthy effort at acting and beg for their mercy. As much as this chaps at my rear end, I need their understanding and empathy. The only way I am going to get it is through kindness.

I need to not let my exhaustion and frustration show. I'm hoping this blogging coping skill will help me relax a smidge and make me feel a little better. I'll update with a new blog post when I know more.