Category: Mental Health

This morning I had a really good therapy session. I am reminded of the importance of therapy in addition to medication when treating depression. My therapist, Nan, is nothing short of incredible. We talked at length about learning, passion, and education.

I told Nan about one of my goals which is to write a book about computers and networks. I shared with her my topic and intended audience but I was experiencing difficulty overcoming writer’s block. Since perfection in writing is impeding my progress, I had the insight that I would try speech to text. This may facilitate writing and lessen the tendency to seek perfection.

Then Nan gave me a truly brilliant idea. Since the intended audience is a beginner to the professional side of computers and networks, she recommended that I write it in the form of a letter to a potential student. I was blown away! The sheer simple elegance. Now I have a weekend project. I’m going to start writing and see where this goes.

Once I put words to paper so to speak, I’ll go back and edit my work. What if I could have the whole damn manuscript written and ready for publication!? That would be awesome. I’d love it if No Starch would take on publishing my book.

I truly left the session feeling much much better than before. I feel renewed and motivated. I dare say I feel positive.

I am not going to lie … last night was brutal for nightmares. They seemed to keep coming one after another so I am tired. Nightmares do not make for good sleep. Perhaps one day I will learn to control my dreams. I am honestly surprised because I had a decent day yesterday. Time to move on though.

I hope to hear from VGM today or Monday. I’d like to be earning more money and have more flexibility. First I have to try it and see how it goes. If all goes well, I will reduce the number of hours I am working as a security guard to 16 on the weekends. I am tired of worrying about money and $23 an hour is significant.

I don’t have any real grand plans for today other than going into work at 2:00PM instead of the usual time. This is okay with me and I don’t mind helping out the boss on occasion. I do have a therapy appointment at 11:00AM today which I am happy about because I need to talk to someone about some weighty issues. Perhaps I will find the concentration to work on my book, but if not, I won’t punish myself.

I know that tomorrow I will have some good opportunities to work on my book. Since I seem to have writer’s block, I am going to try dictation. I just sent out a quick post on Mastodon to ask what tools might be available. Perhaps writer’s block isn’t really writer’s block but perfection being the enemy of progress. This is one of my mantra’s but I still seek perfection. Seeking perfection is blocking progress.

Another day and another shift working and toiling to make someone else wealthier. There’s nothing quite like the United State’s definition of freedom: economic freedom only. Have you ever noticed that the same self-righteous MAGAts that advocate locking up as many criminals as possible in dragnets complain that their freedumb is being impinged if laws are passed to help them? I’m sick and tired of the hypocrisy.

Okay well enough whining on my part. I put Arch Linux – my favorite distro – back on my laptop. I don’t know why in the hell I was running Fedora. Clearly, I wasn’t thinking clearly. I’m happy to be back on the platform that I’ve grown to love. My desktop still uses Arch though. I had some dumb ass idea that Arch would not run that well on a laptop. I was very wrong. Arch is actually more battery efficient than Fedora.

Well, in any case, I feel good about kicking Fedora to the curb. They capitulated to the age verification movement and they’re allowing AI contributions. As one of my favorite cartoon characters would say, “Uh huh huh huh …. Nope nope nope.” Chicken Hawk was hilarious! I digress. AI writes very poor code. Who knows what security holes are going to open. A good distribution is going down the toilet.

I’m having fun being back on the fediverse via Mastodon. That’s the only social media that I feel is quality. If you’re already on it and want to follow me, just click on the link at the footer. Hope to see you there!

It’s going to be nice having some time off after today. I get off at 11am and I don’t have to be at work again until Thursday at 4pm. I will enjoy having the time off as I am really tired. I think I want to sleep late tomorrow. That sounds delightful. I did my last few things to complete migration to a dual stack IPv4/IPv6 setup. I noticed my Mastodon instance has been cruising since I gave it IPv6 access.

I am too tired to work on my business this morning. I’m thinking I’m just going to mess around on my laptop. Being productive just isn’t going to happen. I have a therapy appointment about the time I get home from work. After that I would like to have a nap and then watch a show or three with Denisse. A boring afternoon will be fine as well.

I hope I hear from VGM soon as I am tired of doing security work. VGM offers a driving contract position through the Uber platform. Unlike other opportunities, this one pays $23 per hour on a 1099 basis. I think if I hear back from VGM with an offer, I’m going to start doing that instead of security work. I’m really and truly tired of being a security guard.

VGM has quite a nice offering and if I need more time off one week, I can simply take that time because it has been ruled that 1099-basis workers cannot be forced into accepting a schedule. The courts ruled that 1099 is contractual basis and forcing a set schedule changes things into employment. I would rather not work so hard. Also driving a high end Lucid vehicle will be fun.

I am really dragging today as I had to come into work for 7a-11a after working last night from 3a-11p. This is definitely not an easy thing to do at my age. When I was 25 years younger, I could double back on shifts easily. Despite dragging hind tit, I managed to figure out why the Mastodon instance I setup last night wasn’t working. It turns out that I forgot to allow NGINX to be able to work properly on SELinux. With that resolved, I am back.

It’s good to be back on Mastodon and the Fediverse. Out of all of the social media, the Fediverse is solidly my favorite because of the sheer variety of content posted and created. I learn a lot from the postings and it is fun to do some content creation of my own. Anyhow, while at work I managed to do something stupid and power down the Mastodon server so I’ll have to wait until I get home.

When I finally get home, I am going straight to bed. I need to get some rest badly. Then I can do a little work on my Mastodon instance. I added ElasticSearch for some more powerful search options but it ain’t working the way it should. I am sure I will figure it out eventually.

I have to go to work again tomorrow from 7a-11a. Then I have one day off and I go back at it again. Fun times!