Black Cat Blog

Thoughts, Stories, and Ideas

Category: Thoughts

  • A Good Zen Quote

    An action committed in anger is an action doomed to failure.

    – Genghis Khan

    This quote is especially thought provoking to me, especially as someone who has anger issues and a diagnosed mental illness. But I am non-violent. Anyhow, I’ve made many decisions in the past based on anger and they have always been ones I have regretted.

    I’ve left jobs because I was angry at coworkers or management only to find a new, and sadly, worse job. I’ve lost friends over anger. I’ve lost opportunities too. Thankfully, I have never lost my freedom. I am learning to deprogram the anger through therapy. Although the process is long and hard.

    While Genghis was a master military strategist and student of Sun Tzu, he knew very much that he was anger prone. He learned to step away from making any decisions when emotionally charged. These are lessons I want to learn myself. I am angry at my present employer and co-workers and found a new job.

    This time around I am going to a company that is a known quantity for me so I am hopeful that history will not repeat. I’m ultimately leaving for all of the right reasons however.

    While anger can be a motivator, it should never be the primary reason for a decision. Hell it should never be a reason for a decision that must necessarily be made in a neutral frame of mind.

  • My Biggest Dream

    Daily writing prompt
    What’s your biggest dream?
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    My biggest dream is to become my own entrepreneur and escape the life of working for major corporations. I am tired of having my labor exploited for only scraps in the way of salary returned. I am also tired of the dictatorial nature of working for a corporation. I want more freedom and self-determination. Some of that comes with running your own business. Of course I know that I am trading the security of a regular paycheck for said freedom. This is a tough move in a good economy, a poor one notwithstanding.

    I would like to eventually open my own IT training academy but with a twist: making the program longer to include training above and beyond simple vendor certifications. The idea is to train students to be very strong in the reference implementation of internetworking technologies so that when it comes time to become certified in a vendor technology, they are more skilled and capable than someone who simply went the route of CCNA or simpler.

    Since it is impractical for an IT academy to be done virtually right now and a brick and mortar facility is too expensive, I will begin building my brand through content creation in the form of 15-20 minute videos on introductory computer networking and systems administration. I believe this is a good start on the journey and I am encouraged by it. I have a domain name that is only active on email. I want to get a basic, simple website up with YouTube video embeds. I have a web cam and video recording and editing software. I just need a good desktop microphone or I can use my high-quality wired gaming headset; don’t know which just yet.

    But alas, like all ideas that I have had, I’ve never really gotten them started. In fact, I’ve always been long on ideas and short on follow through. Part of that is the corporate life is so exhausting that when I get home, I am tired beyond all recognition. Is this what corporations want from us? Do they want us so tired that we have no energy left to pursue other avenues? Sometimes I think they truly want us, for the lack of a more perfect word, married to them.

    The thing about this dream though is that it really appeals to me in a way that no other dream I have ever had did. I love computers when I can get hands on and experiment with them. Ironically, this idea came to me while I was lying in a hospital bed suffering from a pulmonary embolism, bradycardia, and low blood pressure.

    While in soft tears about my mental and physical health and bemoaning the loss of my information technology career, I asked myself what it was I loved about IT. The answer was and is when I get to tinker and experiment. Corporate IT abhors risk so there is no experimentation. It dawned on me that experimentation is actually encouraged in an academic setting. Wouldn’t it be great to have some impassioned students where everything we do is hands on and we incorporate the theory while being hands on?

    This is the way to go. The students of today tend to be more interested in tactile learning. They don’t want to read and memorize textbooks. Today’s students rebel against traditional education because they kind of know intuitively that the model does not really work. Learning is done best when one eats, sleeps, and breathes it so to speak. An advanced beginner to intermediate that is entirely hands on would really build the future generations of IT professionals.

    I need to come up with a firm start date for the content creation phase. It just occurred to me that by making these videos, it will help me build a cohesive curriculum to teach instead of being so scattered. I am an autodidact which means I taught myself IT. And I taught myself IT by doing, not by reading.

  • Dinner With a Fictional Character

    Daily writing prompt
    If you could have dinner with any fictional character, who would it be?
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    If I could have dinner with a fictional character, I would want to have a it with the infamous psychiatrist, Dr. Hannibal Lecter, from Silence Of The Lambs. Dr. Lecter has an intelligence that’s off the charts. He makes mensa look ordinary. I would want to learn more about his past, trauma, and political leanings. I’d like to have some very wide ranging discussions with him simply for his intelligence. Please pardon my digression here but the actor who played Dr. Lecter, Anthony Hopkins, is quite intelligent and educated in real life.

    I would like to understand his compulsion to kill and then cannibalize but not to publish a book or to further my own ends and means. It is genuine curiosity about what drives a man to do such things. I know one movie attempted to explain Dr. Lecter’s history but I want to sit down with him and ask him more questions about his family life. If World War II had not happened, would he have turned out differently? I also would be curious about his take on me. He’s far more intelligent and educated than any psychiatrist I have ever seen so I would really be interested in his insight, as twisted as that may seem.

    So this leads to the questions of what we would order at a restaurant for drinks and main course. I think we would most likely order steak. I do mine well done and I am certain Dr. Lecter would want his bloody rare. The one commonality we might share would be Chiante. Chiante, Sangiovese, and Pinot Noir, coincidentally, are my favorite wines. Desert might be a fine cheesecake with a top shelf brandy or something to that effect. Ah what fun this would be.

  • Best Purchase

    Daily writing prompt
    What is the best purchase you have ever made?
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    I have made many good purchases and quite a few bad ones. I think I am tied for the two best purchases that I have ever made. The tie is between a Dell OptiPlex 7060 (used) for $350.00 and a brand new Logitech C920 for $10.00. The C920 has started my journey towards content creation and the OptiPlex 7060 began my home lab journey. Both were really excellent purchases because they are stepping stones towards getting out of the rut I am in.

    About 8 months ago, I had a bit of an idea that came to me while I was lying in a hospital bed after suffering from a serious pulmonary embolism in both lungs. I was on high flow oxygen and wondering what my next step in life would be when I nothing seemed appealing. I know that my passion is really computers and networks but doing this in a corporate (or even as an independent contractor) made it hell on wheels. So the idea was maybe to teach this.

    I thought about opening my own IT academy and teaching computers and networks to students. But even this would become more focused on workforce preparation. This means preparing students for vendor certifications. I have no interest in doing that because most of these certification preparation courses do not teach the broader knowledge. They’re more narrow in scope and specific to the vendor hardware. Often vendor hardware uses proprietary terminology and techniques. We all know how that goes.

    So my friend Davoy suggested that I try content creation in short form, 15 minute or less videos, that teach this stuff to people and monetize through YouTube. Eventually, I could do this through an inexpensive subscription model with the videos. On my next time off, I think I am going to dive in. The trend seems to be away from reading as a form of learning and more towards multi-sensory and tactile approaches. I do love reading and writing but I am finding writing educational content to be tedious. I believe I would enjoy video content creation a lot more.

    So yes, my home computer lab is up and going and I have the Logitech C920 Webcam running as well. It’s just a matter of doing a pilot and seeing what traction happens. I have always been long on ideas and short on follow through. Now is the time.

  • Zen Quotations

    Normally I am very much a fan of Zen and its quotations but I really and truly hate this one:

    Pain doesn’t last. And when it’s gone, we have something to show for it. Growth.

    — Kamal Ravikant

    Pain does not necessarily equal growth. As we are learning in more present times, pain can actually lead to psychological trauma and mental illness. I am more of a fan of having one move outside of their comfort zone. That is what actually makes someone grow. Taking risks equals growth. Pain often causes setbacks that take years to recover from. That is, if the person can ever recover from.

    Ravikant missed the mark here. Pain can lead to psychological trauma which not only impedes growth but can actually prevent growth or cause major regressions in a person. This is why I do not generally like organized religions of any sort. In the end, organized religions are a facility of human beings. Human beings are very much error prone and religions reflect this tendency. I do generally like Zen because it is far less egregious than most other religions and it is not saddled by dogma. And this is one man’s belief.

    Kamal Ravikant could be mistaking pain for discomfort here but I do not think so. Generally, I believe he thinks pain is growth, much in the way our millionaire and billionaire classes preach that pressure turns coal into diamonds. By the way, I hate the sayings that come from the wealthy as well because they are more propaganda than practical.

    Growth comes from learning from one’s mistakes, engaging in lifelong learning, and seeking new opportunities to safely expand horizons. While some pain does teach us important life’s lessons, repeated pain equals trauma.

  • The App Eating My Screen Time

    Daily writing prompt
    What app eats up most of your screen time — and do you even feel bad about it?
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    The app eating my screen time the most has to be Mastodon. Mastodon is a micro-blogging platform similar to Twitter except that it is completely open source and decentralized. Mastodon is an app that participates in something called The Fediverse. The Fediverse is, as the name suggests, a federated platform that no one person or corporation controls. Anybody is free to stand up their own Mastodon server and participate or to join one offering memberships. By memberships, I mean free ones of course.

    I don’t feel bad about it because I learn so much. Mastodon attracts the politically very left, high technology, and very capable computer user. Therefore all kinds of interesting things happen from art and music to writing, photography, and everything in between. It’s the polar opposite of the anti-educational and anti-intellectual platform that X.com has devolved into. It is possible to learn so much and connect with a highly diverse population with stratifying interests.

    I do have to remind myself not to get too lost in it though because my wife matters me to very much. I don’t want to lose her of course or grow to resent me so I have to be careful.

  • A Book I Have Read The Most

    Daily writing prompt
    Which book have you read more than any other?
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    This is a fun one because the book I read the most is The Fantastic Mr. Fox by Roald Dahl. Before I launch into my reasons and an analysis of the text, a little about Roald Dahl. Dahl could nominally be considered one of the “OG” subversives. And the cool thing is that he was able to bump right up against the line, cross it, and come back without anyone in power being the wiser. Dahl was smarter than they are/were. May you rest in peace and in power, sir!

    As a child I loved this The Fantastic Mr. Fox it’s an exciting page turner full of adventure and almost heart-stopping moments. The read was genuinely exciting to me. Reading it as an adult, I see a totally different perspective which makes the book equally as exciting. Roald Dahl was truly before his time.

    When the Foxs’ home was destroyed, Bryce, Bunson, and Bean, the wealthy farmers, they were forced underground. In return for being forced underground, they built secret tunnels to the farms so they could steal the farmers’ produce. Mr. Fox completely justified this by hollowing out a community – think communism and socialism here – dining room. A crew would then steal from the evil wealthy farmer an amount of food to live on. Mr. Fox saw no qualms about stealing nee reclaiming resources necessary for life.

    Roald Dahl placed his extremely left political views into Mr. Fox. Mr. Fox ensured that vegetables would be made for the rabbits and animals that are not carnivores. In effect, the subtext suggests that everyone should be taken care of without artificial means testing. When I read this book, I am in awe of the message he’s sending and that he was able to do it in a highly conservative time where anyone needing assistance was seen as “less than human.”

    To this day I still read the book about once a year and pick up on something I missed. That is the depth of Dahl’s writing. The same can be said for his other books like Charlie and The Chocolate Factory and The Great Glass Elevator. In the latter, Roald Dahl rather openly criticized the United States’ Government which was tantamount to heresy at the time it was published. Yet the criticism was so implicit, few picked up on it. They assumed it to be just like a comic strip. But in reality, it was a very harsh criticism of the US Military Industrial Complex.

  • Erasing A Trend

    Daily writing prompt
    If you could erase one trend from history, what would it be?
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    This is another good daily writing prompt. One historical trend that would be great to erase from the past and prevent in the future is the human tendency to gravitate towards anger and hatred in poor economic times. Members of the poor and working class turn on each other in economic recessions, depressions, “dark ages”, etc. The rising levels of hatred seem to be in direct proportions to economic and financial stressors. These stressors rise exponentially when access to a reliable and safe income dry up.

    A large part of this problem seems to be the insatiable greed of the wealthy. Let’s look at Elon Musk, history’s first trillionaire. That’s more money than most people could spend in a lifetime. One does not obtain that amount of money through honest and ethical business practices. This man has hurt an untold and unknown number of people to obtain this vast sum of money. But we can surmise that the people he has hurt have been the working class. In a bitter sense of irony, rather than getting angry at Musk, the working class turn on each other; fighting for scraps like stray dogs in the street. But that’s a topic for another day.

    This has been a historical trend throughout times. Since Trump was dubiously re-elected to the presidency we are seeing it play out. Rent, food, clothing, gasoline, and the cost of basic needs have risen exponentially while wages have fallen. The only answers to problems like these are more regulation and not less. I guess that’s another historical trend to erase. Humans born into inter-generational wealth, when left to their own devices, will not generally do the right thing automatically. This is why we need regulation.

    But the trend of cyclical economic depression giving rise to hatred, racism, and domestic terrorism needs to come to an end because it does no good whatsoever. The working class needs to band together and not be so divided. These divisions have existed for centuries however. It is what has enabled this trend.

  • What Shapes Us

    Daily writing prompt
    Do you think we’re shaped more by our experiences or by who we are?
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    It is my belief that we are shaped by our experiences rather than who we are. Our experiences are actually what define us and answer the question of who we are. Or maybe, and more perfectly said, our experiences mostly define who we are and shape us. Speaking from personal experience, I can definitively say my experiences, both positive and negative, have shaped me.

    One summer I rode a bicycle 300 miles, when I lived in Arizona I learned to ride a motorcycle, and when I graduated from college I backpacked through the Sierras in California and the Northern Presidentials in New Hampshire. These experiences helped to define me as comfortable and happy in the mountains and loving riding anything with two wheels on them. I met people and built long lasting friendships; had experiences with extreme beauty and got to do some activities many dream about.

    I went to Alaska and Hawaii. I spent New Years 2010 in Tokyo with a very good friend. Those were the good times. The bad times with mental and physical health issues served to remind me of my humanity and the short time that we live on this planet called earth. In getting sick and struggling, I learned humility, kindness, empathy, and sympathy for others. I learned the value of elevating others around me.

    It is our experiences that profoundly shape us and define us. It is also the choices we make as a result of these experiences. Do we choose to learn from them or do we dig in our heels and continue to repeat mistakes we have made? There are truly many variables here. I am reminded of a friend who is a recovering addict. I love his two life’s mantras and I feel it best to conclude this posting with them.

    If you are going through hell, keep going, and do not stop. What has a beginning also has an end.

    Adapt, improvise, and overcome.

  • Technology Here To Stay

    Daily writing prompt
    What’s a piece of technology you’re convinced will exist in 20 years?
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    I am convinced that the Internet, TCP/IP Networks, and computers are here to to stay and they will be around in 20 years. The Internet has changed lives and mostly for the better. We have unprecedented access to information and ideas. Granted a lot of it is mis and disinformation so extra care has to be taken to sift out the wheat from the chaff and we have to use some critical thinking skills. That much said, the Internet has helped to discover hobbies that I would otherwise have not discovered nor really taken an interest in like ham radio.

    The Internet is modern equivalent of the movable type printing press. Those that choose to be luddites risk being left behind. We are also living in particularly interesting times with regards to the Internet. The Internet itself is starting to again resemble its early days of introduction to the consumer and business marketplaces. Corporate control is starting to wane in favor of people creating their own home labs, hosting their own services, and leaving the cloud and corporate offerings behind.

    I have moved all of my stuff out of the cloud, including email. I host everything out of my own home on a business class desktop with good quality hardware that I own. I make regular backups like the olden days of computing. And I am free from the perennial subscription models to boot.