Black Cat Blog

Thoughts, Stories, and Ideas

  • My Favorite Cartoon Character

    Daily writing prompt
    Who is your favorite cartoon character?
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    I don’t have a single cartoon character that is my favorite, rather I have several favorites. The one most worth mentioning is Wiley Coyote. I have always loved Wiley Coyote and it has to be because I admire his persistence in the face of extreme pain and setbacks. In the face of adversity, Wiley does not give up, he simply regroups and tries again. I think his biggest (and ironically very human) mistake is his steadfast, cognitively dissonant refusal to stop ordering from the ACME catalog. He seems to think that eventually he will get a reliable product from that mail order company.

    Wiley also made me laugh and I had a rough childhood so laughter was, and still is, one of the most important things to me. The antidepressants that I take clobber all feelings and it can be tough. I cannot easily laugh as a result but Wiley can still be depended on for a belly laugh. I want to see the new movie Wiley Coyote vs. Acme. I just cannot convince my fiancee to come with me. She tells me I have to see it on my own. 😆

    Usually I have to have some THC to get a good belly laugh. The nice thing about THC is that (for me at least) it seems to undo the effect of dulling the positive emotions that antidepressants can and often do. At least Wiley is still good for a healing natural laugh.

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  • Kindest Thing Someone Did For Me

    Daily writing prompt
    What’s the kindest thing someone has ever done for you?
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    The kindest thing someone did for me ever was when I did not have enough money to pay for my food at a convenience store was pay for my food. I was absolutely flabbergasted and before I had time to tell him that this was not necessary, he had already swiped his card and the food paid for. That was an absolutely amazing gesture and I was blown away by that level of kindness. I was on SNAP benefits and did not realize my card had run out. That’s kind of embarrassing, which was made even more so by the fact that I was paying with EBT.

    I was able to eat for the day until I got paid and I appreciated it very much. Small gestures of kindness like that are great. It’s a shame that the wealthy don’t do more philanthropy. Well, Bill Gates does but it goes to his pet projects and often what is en vogue, which is to say helping people in other countries when their are people here in America starving.

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  • Weird Coincidences

    Daily writing prompt
    What’s the weirdest coincidence you’ve ever experienced?
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    I find the timing of this daily writing prompt a very weird coincidence. Last night was date night for me and my wife. Denisse told me her father’s first name and was telling me how much she still misses him. Well, it turns out that her father’s first name is the same as my own: Edward; actually Eduardo because they’re Puerto Rican. So Denisse’s father and I share a name. She and I were both shocked. Yes, this could be coincidental but something uncanny seems to be happening here. There’s a lot about the way the world works that we do not understand.

    After learning that Denisse’s father and I share that name, I am left wondering if there was something else in the works; like meeting Denisse was what was supposed to happen to me. Denisse even once told me that I even have some similarities to her father’s personality: like my whole unconditional love belief. I don’t really know but this ranks up there with the weirdest of coincidences that I have experienced.

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  • Relive One Day

    If you could relive one day from your past, which day would it be and why?

    They say the best revenge is living well. If I could relive one day from my past it was the graduation from high school where I graduated at the top of my class with honors. This was a big fuck you to everyone that made my life a living hell in high school. Too bad I didn’t amount to much but at least I struck a note. Now I am just old.

    So yes, that’s the one day I would like to relive. I got the headmasters award. I got into a tier 1 liberal arts college. It was the best college out of everyone in my graduating class.

    It’s a shame that I am relegated to an angry, impoverished, shadow of a man now. So maybe they got the last laugh. Typical, I am surprised I never even got to be anything good. I got built up to believing that I could do great things. But I’m worthless.

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  • Dealing With Uncertainty

    Daily writing prompt
    How do you deal with uncertainty?
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    This is a good writing prompt because it is causing me to think quite deeply about how I deal with uncertainty; which is to say not well. Yes, I struggle with uncertainty and it is hindering. Uncertainty frightens me and it has prevented me from starting and succeeding at business. I am also grateful for this writing prompt so that I can get my feelings documented for my next therapy session. I am trying to accept that uncertainty is a part of life.

    I am currently reading a book about starting a business and the author wisely talks about some of the mental health aspects of this journey. One of the topics he brings up is mindfulness. It is his opinion that successful entrepreneurs are mindful people which is to say that they live in the present and work in the present. Furthermore, he believes that they don’t look at their past failures and concentrate entirely on what their present business opportunity is. They do not look too far into the future either.

    So I know now that the best way to deal with uncertainty is not too ignore it but to live in the present and be mindful. I struggle with being mindful and with being my own harshest critic. I also struggle with “shiny object syndrome.” Part of said struggle is that I am not living in the present. I do believe it will be possible to get this business started and off of the ground. I see how mindfulness can really help .

    I am slowly re-programming my brain to simply accept that there are not many certainties in life. When I feel myself starting to get anxious or afraid, I am telling myself to accept what I cannot change and to let these feelings flow through me. By flowing through me, I mean simply just going by only fleetingly acknowledged. Since I have a passion to be my own entrepreneur and start my own IT training school, I will be more mindful .

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  • My Adult Moment

    What’s a moment when you realized you were officially an adult?

    I realized that I became an adult when I was handed my high school diploma and went to college. I was no longer beholden to a power structure. I felt some immense freedom but it took some time to get used to. At first I found myself asking other adults for permission. Getting out of that power structure wasn’t easy.

    To be honest though, I never made the transition to adulthood smoothly. I’ve been told nobody really does but I’ve struggled more than the average because I’m on the autistic spectrum. I’ve always been a late bloomer. But once you’re an adult the world becomes less patient with you. We may become adults but we don’t stop learning, hence we will continuously meet new situations and challenges. It’s is unreasonable to expect that, simply because someone had reached some arbitrary age, that they have everything figured out. That’s my 0.02 anyways.

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  • This Is Embarrassing

    Daily writing prompt
    What’s a conspiracy theory you actually find believable?
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    I actually believe that the COVID-19 virus might have come from a lab in Wuhan, China. This is my belief only and I have no “evidence” to back it up. This is merely my opinion and should not be taken as disinformation. Does that make me crazy? Well, perhaps a little bit but here me out as the US has a complex relationship with China. On one hand, we trade and import goods from China. On the other hand, China is nominally at some state of warfare readiness. I am all but certain that COVID-19 was engineered as a biological weapon. If it turns out this was the case, the weapon was very effective,

    We already know that China has a complex cyber warfare program going on as I write this. I need only look at my server logs to reveal the sheer number of Chinese IP addresses trying to attack my router. It got to the point where these attacks became so insidious, I had to do a geoblock of all Chinese IP addresses. Of course the Chinese government will not officially comment on this, but since these activities are ongoing, I can readily believe that a mistake in a Wuhan biological weapons laboratory was made that caused the release of COVID-19 upon the world.

    I am also vaguely curious about how quickly the Chinese Government built a hospital to deal with COVID-19. You know it was done in practically 7 days. I am furthermore believing that there had been a plan in place to build such a facility rapidly if needed. And it certainly was needed. So where does that leave us? Let’s stop warfare and encourage peace.

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  • Outdated Tech

    Oddly, I miss the pre-IoT days where people weren’t connecting their air fryers and toasters to the Internet. I miss the days of the dumb TVs. These new smart TVs limit consumers to one technology. I’d rather have a dumb TV and plug in an HDMI device of my choice to it. I also miss the good old fashioned carbureted engines. Yes, they’re bad for the environment because they do not have the fancy pollution controls that modern fuel injection has but they were so incredibly easy to work on.

    When I lived in Arizona, I bought a vintage Ford conversion van and I had so much fun with it. You can learn to diagnose engine problems by the sounds they make when the engine starts. No computers, just pure tinkering and fun. Also learning. It was a simple, logical algorithm. If such and such is happening, then do this …. A friend of mine showed me how to rebuild the engine when the head gasket went. I figured I might as well overhaul it.

    How about instead of gasoline, we use hydrogen?! It burns very cleanly!

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  • A Book That Inspired Me To Travel.

    Daily writing prompt
    What’s a movie or book that inspired you to travel?
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    Jame’s Clavell’s Shogun series inspired me to travel. After reading about his take on ancient and modern Japan, I had to go. It just so happened a late friend of mine, Brian Jarrett, and I had some vacation time to burn so we spent New Year’s in Tokyo. Ah the perks of working in Information Technology for a global airline! So both of us went on a little journey together.

    After a New Year’s celebration which I shall bring up later, we did a brief tour by train of the country side. Japan’s rural areas and the Kanto Plain looked nothing like I had imagined – it looked so much better and larger than life. The beautiful and ornate homes outside of the city were stunning. We visited art galleries, tea shops, and ate some of the finest of hand-rolled sushi I had ever eaten. I also had some delicious tempura.

    Now back to New Year’s in Tokyo. For starters, Tokyo has nothing on Las Vegas for sensory overload. It is truly a city that never sleeps. Yet for the hustle and bustle, there is a beautiful kind of order out of the seeming chaos. Also, the politeness of the older generation is exquisite. I remember the stunning fireworks, the bright neon and LCD screens everywhere. I remember staying in one of Tokyo’s capsule hotels because it was the only thing we could afford and even that was luxurious.

    Oh and I should mention, the vacation really began when we boarded our ANA flight to Tokyo from Los Angeles. Since we wore our airline IT polos, the most awesome flight attendant said, “We’ve got a space for you in first class.” OMG! That was an experience. I had steak and shrimp, fine expensive red wines, cordials for dessert … the seat was in a mini-suit with a curtain and decked out entertainment system. Our seats turned into full on beds that included pajamas and robes.

    By the time we arrived in Tokyo in the morning after what was a very long flight, we were rested and ready to go whereas most of our fellow travelers were more bleary eyed and exhausted. On our return home, we got upgraded again. Totally lucked out!

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  • My Biggest Dream

    Daily writing prompt
    What’s your biggest dream?
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    My biggest dream is to become my own entrepreneur and escape the life of working for major corporations. I am tired of having my labor exploited for only scraps in the way of salary returned. I am also tired of the dictatorial nature of working for a corporation. I want more freedom and self-determination. Some of that comes with running your own business. Of course I know that I am trading the security of a regular paycheck for said freedom. This is a tough move in a good economy, a poor one notwithstanding.

    I would like to eventually open my own IT training academy but with a twist: making the program longer to include training above and beyond simple vendor certifications. The idea is to train students to be very strong in the reference implementation of internetworking technologies so that when it comes time to become certified in a vendor technology, they are more skilled and capable than someone who simply went the route of CCNA or simpler.

    Since it is impractical for an IT academy to be done virtually right now and a brick and mortar facility is too expensive, I will begin building my brand through content creation in the form of 15-20 minute videos on introductory computer networking and systems administration. I believe this is a good start on the journey and I am encouraged by it. I have a domain name that is only active on email. I want to get a basic, simple website up with YouTube video embeds. I have a web cam and video recording and editing software. I just need a good desktop microphone or I can use my high-quality wired gaming headset; don’t know which just yet.

    But alas, like all ideas that I have had, I’ve never really gotten them started. In fact, I’ve always been long on ideas and short on follow through. Part of that is the corporate life is so exhausting that when I get home, I am tired beyond all recognition. Is this what corporations want from us? Do they want us so tired that we have no energy left to pursue other avenues? Sometimes I think they truly want us, for the lack of a more perfect word, married to them.

    The thing about this dream though is that it really appeals to me in a way that no other dream I have ever had did. I love computers when I can get hands on and experiment with them. Ironically, this idea came to me while I was lying in a hospital bed suffering from a pulmonary embolism, bradycardia, and low blood pressure.

    While in soft tears about my mental and physical health and bemoaning the loss of my information technology career, I asked myself what it was I loved about IT. The answer was and is when I get to tinker and experiment. Corporate IT abhors risk so there is no experimentation. It dawned on me that experimentation is actually encouraged in an academic setting. Wouldn’t it be great to have some impassioned students where everything we do is hands on and we incorporate the theory while being hands on?

    This is the way to go. The students of today tend to be more interested in tactile learning. They don’t want to read and memorize textbooks. Today’s students rebel against traditional education because they kind of know intuitively that the model does not really work. Learning is done best when one eats, sleeps, and breathes it so to speak. An advanced beginner to intermediate that is entirely hands on would really build the future generations of IT professionals.

    I need to come up with a firm start date for the content creation phase. It just occurred to me that by making these videos, it will help me build a cohesive curriculum to teach instead of being so scattered. I am an autodidact which means I taught myself IT. And I taught myself IT by doing, not by reading.

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